Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire

To Whom it May Concern,

This is a long shot.

I’m seeking a billionaire; I will also settle for a millionaire. Sorry, I’m not interested in any salesmen looking to sell me a time-share or a part of their animal balloon company (been there, done that).

I am not a gold digger, though you may not believe that. I have references. Ask all my broke exes and my best friends.

To be fair, I am not a glamorous model, actress, or professional dancer. I do, however, take pole dancing lessons (for fun, of course, not dollar bills).

I am an educated (still have the student loans to prove it), open-minded (toy stores are fun, and not for games), fairly cute (when I try), only a little curvy (those last thirty pounds don’t want to leave) single female. I want to be swept off my feet, wined, dined, and bedded in ways that make me forget my name.

I have a job (that I hate), with a boss that makes me want to jump off a cliff. However, my friends make up for the day job. I’m ready for an adventure. And possibly a penthouse with a maid and a design budget.

If interested, please respond before Monday morning so I don’t have to go in to work.

Love,

Sultry Sassy Sarah