Page 31 of Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire

"I’m not going to work today," I say.

"You have to go to work," Ella says. "You have your meeting today with Ethan and…"

"I no longer have a meeting today with Ethan, guys," I say, waiting for them to ask me why. "Is no one going to ask me why?"

"We figure you’re going to tell us." Isabel grunts.

"Fine. You know that stupid personal ad you guys made me write last night?"

"It wasn’t stupid. It was so funny." Isabel laughs and then groans. "Ow, that hurt. I can’t laugh. Don’t make me laugh."

"Don’t worry. I’m not trying to make anyone laugh because I’m sure not laughing right now," I say. "I am dead meat, guys. Seriously, dead meat."

"Oh, boy. What has happened?" Ella asks.

"Well, the personal ad that we wrote, mid-thirties, slightly hot mess female seeking billionaire."

"I thought that was such a cute title. We are amazing, and no wonder you’re in copywriting because your ad was hilarious. Oh, my gosh. I want a billionaire who can put me up in a penthouse, as well." Isabel is obviously not picking up that I am upset.

"Guys, we posted it on my company intranet by mistake."

There’s silence on the line. You could hear a pin drop as everyone processes what I have just said.

"Fuck," Isabel moans.

"Exactly. That’s all I’ve been thinking since I’ve read Ethan’s email. Ethan saw it and he emailed me at two-something this morning. I don’t even want to look at the email again because I’m hella embarrassed. He told me that the meeting today is called off and he wants to see me in his office on Monday morning. Oh my God. I’m going to get fired. I’m totally going to get fired."

"Play it off," Ella says thoughtfully. "I mean, why would he cancel your meeting today?"

"I bet you it’s because she said she didn’t want to go in on Monday morning," Isabel adds. "He’s most probably alluding to that."

"That’s what I think, because he wants to fire me."

"Well, maybe play it off like a joke," Ella suggests.

"What do you mean, play it off as a joke?"

"I got an idea," Isabel says thoughtfully. "Why don’t you say something like, oh, ha-ha should I bring some dollars, as well? Pretend like the whole thing was just one big joke and not a drunk post by mistake."

"You really think that will work?" I ask, wanting to believe it will work.

"Perhaps. I mean, what do you have to lose?"

"I guess." I grab my phone from my ear, and I press reply to Ethan’s email. "So, what exactly should I say?"

"Just be like ha-ha, I’ll be there on Monday as long as you have enough singles," Isabel suggests.

And even though I know it doesn’t sound like a great idea, I type it because he does know I have a kooky sense of humor. And he does know that I’m slightly weird, so maybe if I act kooky and not like I am worried about his email, he will think this was just a really bad joke.

"Yeah, he might be like, ‘oh, don’t quit the day job. You’re no Dave Chappelle’ or something," I say as I hit send. "Right?"

"I don’t know about that," Ella says quickly. "You know what, girl? Don’t do it."

"What do you mean, don’t do it? I already did it."

There’s more silence.

"Oh, I don’t know if that was the best idea you’ve ever had, Isabel." Ella sounds nervous. "I’m just saying, he might not find it a joke, and if he doesn’t think it’s a joke, he might think you’re propositioning him."

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