Page 90 of Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire

"You're divorcing dad?"

"He's cheated on me for most of our marriage, he's gaslit me. He's been unfaithful. He's hurt me and I've put up with it. I don't know why. Maybe because I loved him. Maybe because I felt like I needed to give you a two-parent household, which I regret."

"What do you mean, mom?"

"I mean, I think I did you a disservice by staying with dad."

"What?"

"I've never seen you in love. I've never seen you in a relationship. I've never seen you even close to being married, and I think that's because of what you've witnessed with me and your dad. All the nights and days I spent crying and the shopping and the arguments, it had an effect on you."

I pressed my lips together and don't say anything.

"And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for that. I didn't know how to just be by myself. I didn't know how to be a single mother looking after my son. I didn't know how to not have a man by my side, and yet, you know what I realized?"

"No." I shake my head.

"I realized that even though I had your father, I was still alone. Even though I was a wife, I was still a single mom. Even though everyone thought I had it all, I had nothing."

"You had me," I say softly, remembering all those nights we sat on the couch and watched TV together. And the nights she read me books, and the nights she sang to me and the nights she was too tired and sad to even eat with me.

"I could have been a better mom to you," she says, leaning forward and grabbing my hands. "You have been my everything. I love you so much, Ethan. You have been my savior, your father's savior, your grandparent's savior."

"My savior as well," Jackson says, and I look at him. "Your friendship means a lot to me," he says.

My heart expands and I nod because Jackson has also been my savior, the best friend a guy could ever ask for, but I don't know how to let him know that just then.

"I'm going to India because I've really gotten into yoga and I want to find myself. I want to find my purpose in life before it's too late. I know the two of you see me as an old woman, but I still got some life left in me, yet." She giggles slightly and I frown.

Was my mom giggling like a little school girl? "But you're divorcing dad?"

"It's been a long time coming," she says. "I haven't been happy. He's not been happy, and I don't want this to be my life. I don't want to be on my deathbed and wish I'd done a million things that I haven't. It's time for me to be strong. It's time for me to be independent. It's time for me to open my heart to the world, and I just hope that you can do the same thing."

"You want me to go to India and do yoga with you?"

"No," she laughs. "I want you to let love into your life. I..." She pauses. "Your grandparents told me that when you found out that dad had gotten someone pregnant, you told them you couldn't go. You were at the hospital with someone."

"Yeah, and?"

"Someone important," she says, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"Maybe. Why?"

"Someone you love, possibly?"

I stare at her for a couple of seconds and then I look at Jackson. He is leaning forward as well.

I nod slowly. "As crazy as this is going to sound, maybe you're right. Maybe I do love her, but maybe I lost her because I was a fool, and I broke her heart and ran away when she told me she loved me and fuck it." I slam my fist on the desk. "I think I screwed up."

"So you do love her." Jackson's grinning now.

"Shut up, Jackson. You knew I loved her."

"Of course, I knew you loved her. I knew you loved her from the very first moment," he says. "It was apparent."

"What do you mean it was apparent?"

"I'm your best friend, dude. I knew the moment you saw her in that bar, you fell hook, line and sinker."

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