Page 122 of The Ruse

It’s been a couple weeks since I last wrote in here. Things have been getting better. I’m still here at least.

I was really sad the first part of the month as I tried to get over Elijah. I thought we might get back together, that he might change his mind and try to continue what we had going, since we’d broken up so many other times before. But I think it’s really over this time. He really meant it.

When we broke up, he asked that I respect his decision since he really thought it was what was best for us and our futures. That if we were caught in a student/teacher relationship, it could have repercussions that would haunt us for the rest of our lives.

I didn’t want to accept it at first because I was so in love with him and thought we could be together forever. But now that it’s been a couple weeks, I see that he was right. It’s been hard seeing him every other day in his class, but I’m trying to move on because I know he deserves to keep his job. He’s really good at it and loves what he does. Sometimes the best way to show someone that you love them is to let them go when they ask.

So instead of trying to get back with my teacher, I decided to try to have a more normal junior year and do all the things I probably should have been doing all along.

I started hanging out with Asher Park. He’s a guy my age who I didn’t know very well until recently. We were in the play together and he’s actually really cool. He’s super fun to be around and always makes me laugh. I know I’ve always said I don’t like high school boys because they’re all so immature, but Asher is surprisingly mature for a high school junior.

Well, at least Bailee Vanderbilt had thought I was cool and fun and mature.

January 30

Okay, so remember how in my last journal entry I said I was going to try to be the bigger person and let Elijah go?

Well…I think I spoke too soon.

You see, I was hanging out at The Italian Amigos with Asher and a few other friends on Friday night, when guess who walked in the door? It was Elijah…with a leggy blonde with big boobs on his arm!!

Yep. He was on a freaking date with silicone Barbie! And I had to watch the whole thing as they were seated at the table next to ours.

I don’t know if he saw me though. His back was to me and he just stared at his date all through dinner. Yes, she was probably actually his age and gorgeous—so good job, Elijah, for finding someone you can legally date.

But yeah, that basically sucked.

Anyway, it put me in a weird mood. I’ve been trying so hard to move on and have a regular high school life while also trying to keep secret the fact that I’m being tortured by how hot my biology professor is.

I guess seeing him out on a date must have triggered something because as soon as we got back to the school and I saw a poster for the Valentine’s Day dance, I decided that I wanted to give Elijah a taste of his own medicine. If he was going to start dating and flaunting it in my face, I was going to give him a show of his own. So Asher and I are going to start a fake relationship—The Ruse, as I so geniusly named it since every plan deserves to have a cool code name.

Asher knows it’s fake and thinks it’s just for fun and to practice our acting skills while tricking everyone at school. But yeah…it’s really for Elijah.

February 21

I only have a second but I just wanted to say that the ruse is going so well. Everyone is buying it and Asher and I are having so much fun.

Elijah is even buying it, which is amazing. Asher and I have biology class together, which is basically perfect. Whenever we’re in there, I really ramp up our flirting. It’s so fun!

For me, at least.

Elijah doesn’t seem to like it though, because he totally separated Asher and me during class this morning and made me sit in the front row with Asher in the back.

A normal high school student would probably be upset being separated from her boyfriend, but since it’s not real, I totally didn’t mind sitting just a little closer to Elijah as he was teaching us today. He might not let me touch him anymore, but at least I get to look at him and flirt with him with my eyes.

March 10

I decided to add kissing into the arrangement I have with Asher today. It’s been too long since I actually kissed a guy. Plus, I figure it’ll just make everything more believable if we get caught making out here and there.

No one needs to know that every time I kiss Asher, I’m picturing Elijah.

I scoffed.Every time she kissed me, she’d been picturing our teacher?

If that didn’t feel like a slap in the face, I didn’t know what did.

Well, most of the time anyway. Sometimes I do get lost in the moment because Asher is a spectacular kisser and has the body of a god. I mean, I did pick him to do this with me because he’s the hottest guy at school.

Well, that made my ego feel slightly better.

---