The Proposal Pact

“Marry me.”
“Shrek, are you drunk?”

If a week ago you’d told me I would be standing right here, in front of the biggest little menace on planet Earth, asking her to marry me, I’d tell you you’ve lost it.
Yet, here we are. Because desperate times call for desperate measures. And my times are as desperate as they get with the local Granny Gang out to marry me off to whomever they deem worthy. Forget what I want, it doesn’t work like that in my small hometown of Loverly Cave because once they set their mind to something, they’ll do it and I’m just not interested in falling in love, having a family, or any of that.

Not again. Not after everything.

Hence why I chose Sophie Levidis for the job of my fake wife. There’s no way I’ll ever fall for this ball of mess and chaos who fell onto my head with her crazy, colorful life style, extreme hockey obsession, and absolutely no filter whatsoever.
She’s the safest bet to get rid of the Granny Gang.
Or so I thought…because now her color is bleeding over my gray lines.

“I thought I was your nightmare.”
“You are. The kind that scared the crap out of me and forced me to wake up.”