Page 58 of The Refusal

Finally, I let my hand stroke her breast and settle down at her side to watch myself do it, running my fingers around each flawless freckle. She arches into my hand, and I circle gently around the edges, avoiding her hard nipples still damp from the cloth. So fucking soft.

I groan. “Your breasts are amazing.”

I glance up at her face, and her cheeks are flushed but her eyes are doubtful. Tilting my head at her, I say, “What? You don’t think they are?”

She purses her lips. “No man has ever thought my breasts were amazing. One guy told me they were ‘really small.’” She makes air quotes. My jaw tightens with a crack. Some dick gave her a complex? Fuck that.

“Well, he’s clearly an idiot, as he gave up these.” I stroke over the tips, and her breath changes, emitting gusty little exhales. “What sane guy would do that?”

Bending forward, I take a nipple into my mouth and flick it gently. Her skin tastes sweet, like warm apples.

“Please.” She pushes up. “Janus.”

Thumb on one stiff peak, I use the flat of my tongue to wet the other tip which stiffens as I play with it. Blowing on the damp freckles, I draw back, and she squirms, reaching out to tug me closer. I shake my head.

“Guys like to watch. I want to make you come apart with my hands and my mouth. I want to taste you.” The idea makes my whole body tighten, and I trail my hand slowly down her body.

“Janus,” she whimpers, as my hand drags down her stomach to her panties. I’ve come all over her chest, and she’s not even naked. My cock lifts again at the mere thought of seeing how hot and wet she is. I slip my hand in, and she wiggles, clearly desperate to give me room to explore.

“Oh, your hands.” She exhales on a long gasp as I reach the start of her mound.

I stop, laughing, hand pressing down. “What?”

She groans. “You remember those hot fantasies you had about my breasts?”

Where is this going?

“Well, I had those about those long fingers.” She nods down at where my hand is resting, lips parting as I slide my hand lower, gliding over the smooth skin to her clit and down and down into the wetness below. She pushes into my touch.

“Shit, Jo.”

No stopping now; she’s soaked and slippery and I haven’t even touched her. My whole body vibrates, like a dog shaking off water. I groan, rolling into her and burying my face in her neck, nuzzling and licking her skin, tasting sweat and more soft sweetness.

“Fuck. So wet.”

Her hips shift into my hands as I move my finger, words jerking out of her. “At that first meeting you put your hand next to me on the table … your hands and arms … God, I could barely … oh God … tear my gaze away.” She gasps, turning her head into my naked chest and her mouth is open and wet, gusting hot against me, licking at my sweat.

“You …” I start, hardly able to believe what I’m hearing, “you liked me when we first met?”

She felt like this from thebeginning? I pull back as my hand stills, and she groans, nuzzling into me farther. I need to see her face.

“Seriously?”

She lifts her head and clear green locks on me, brows pulled down.

“Come on, Janus, you know how you look, how you are with people. You could have any woman you want.”

I close my eyes. Her words are so different from my usual mental dialogue that I want to pick her up on them, but questions crowd everything else out.

“But … so long ago? You never gave me any hint you were interested, just the opposite in fact. Was it some kind of game?” A prickle works its way down my spine: I’ve tortured myself about this for months.

She groans again and moves her hips against my hand.

“I’m not doing anything more until you explain this.” I’m spoiling the mood, but seriously?

She sighs and rolls onto her back. I follow her, finger slipping out of her, my hand still in her panties.

“We’ve talked about this. Your reputation … I knew if we did anything and it got out it could kill my company. I’m just getting started. People are vicious with women in this business.” Her forehead creases, eyes fixed on the ceiling like she’s studying a cloud I can’t see, and it dawns on me she’s still thinking we shouldn’t be doing this. She’s not all in by any stretch.

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