Page 59 of At My Worst

“Letting you run, wherever the fuck you go, I will follow you,” I confess.

She continues to look into my eyes. There is rage, sadness, and desire all crashing inside her, making the storm inside her deadly, but I don’t fucking care. I am not letting her fucking go.

“Alexander,” she pleads with me, but fuck no, I am not letting her leave me, not now, not fucking ever.

“I am not him, Bianca, and you are not her,” I confess in a low, shaky voice.

She takes a deep breath, and more tears roll down her face. “I saw you,” she says. Her voice filled with confusion and pain. Pain I have to make go away and replace it with desire and love.

“You saw what she wanted you to see, Bianca,” I tell her, looking into her eyes.

I lean in, resting my lips against her ear. My free hand grabs the top of her leggings and stretches them out, allowing me to move my hand underneath. I begin working my hand down to her pussy, knowing she needs action with words. Knowing that she needs to hear it but feel what I am going to tell her.

“He made the fucking mistake of letting you go. I will not make the same mistake,” I confess, moving my fingers through her folds. She whimpers as I continue to move down, slowly circling her clit with my thumb. Her body begins to melt against mine, closing the distance between us.

“He didn’t value you. I will not make that same mistake,” I say, pushing two fingers into her wet pussy.

“He made you feel undesired and unworthy. I will not make that same mistake,” I confess as I finger fuck her, and she grabs onto my shoulders.

“He didn’t fucking fight for you. I will not make the same mistake,” I say through gritted teeth.

I pull back and lock eyes with her. I lean in, my lips almost touching hers. “I would not do that to you, Bianca. I am not him, and you are not her,” I tell her looking into her eyes as I pull my fingers from her pussy.

Her breathing is heavy as she looks at me. “Alexander.”

“I love you, and you are not fucking leaving me,” I say with pain and confidence.

I smash my lips to hers and grab onto her, lifting her off the ground. She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck as I turn and quickly make my way back to her car. I lower her down onto the rain-covered hood as I reach between us, unbutton my pants, and pull them down with my boxers. I feel her release her hold on me, her feet resting on the edge of her bumper. She pulls down her leggings and underwear and lies back as I grab my cock and place the tip at her entrance. I pull back, breaking the kiss.

“You are mine,” I demand.

She nods. “I am yours.”

I grab onto her left hand, pinning it above her head against the car as I push into her tight wet fucking pussy. Her walls wrap tightly around my cock, taking my breath away. I release my cock and grab her other hand, intertwining my fingers with hers, pinning both of her hands down against the wet car. I begin to move in and out of her.

“If you ever fucking run away from me again, I will spank the fuck out of you,” I warn, feeling my heart stop for a moment with the thought of her leaving me, with the thought of not having her. I can’t fucking bare it.

“Is that a promise?” She asks in a low, dark voice.

“Fuck yes it is,” I say without needing to think.

“Ever wanted to fuck a stranger on a hood of a car in the middle of nowhere?” She asks.

“I have always wanted to fuck a lover,” I confess as I smash my lips back on hers. She opens her mouth, allowing my tongue to enter, and a moan escapes her as I pick up my pace.

She is not going anywhere but home with me, back to our home.

27

Bianca

“The Devil Within”by Digitial Daggers

Life is full of not knowing and just going through trying to fucking stay above water. For most of my life, I have been drowning, just fucking trying to hang on to something, anything to make me not feel how I have felt in the past. I never saw Alexander coming. He has fucking destroyed me in the best possible fucking way.

All of my choices have led me to this moment, the moment that will change everything once again. Nothing will remain the same once I do what I know needs to be done. My chest is tight, and my legs are shaking as my stomach twists into a million knots. I never wanted any of this to happen, but there is no turning back now.

He and I were not happy, and we got good at lying and acting as if everything was okay, but it wasn’t okay. Alexander has shown me that I made the right choice by leaving, but leaving is just the start. Now I have to finish what I have started.

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