Page 35 of No Regrets

“Yeah, I’m somewhat stunned by him and Kelly.”

“Listen, it’s early, how about you and I take the boat out this afternoon, go do a little fishing. Hopefully take your mind off things for a bit?”

Dex grinned. “That’s the best thing you’ve said since you’ve been home.” He could think of nothing better than getting out on the water with his Pops. Just like old times.

“Alright. I have a couple of things to take care of. Why don’t I meet you back at the house at 1400.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The two men went their separate ways. Dex headed straight for his truck. His phone beeped. Ryan.

How did it go?

Yeah, he wasn't meant to text back, but he could keep it simple.

I think it went well, but I should know tomorrow. Once I have a decision, we can talk. Sit tight.

Seconds later, a thumbs up appeared. Dex pocketed the phone, getting in his truck for the short drive.

Pulling onto his street, he slowed as Kelly’s house came into view. It had been a week since he’d seen her. Since she’d told him to go. A couple of times, he spotted her walking on the beach. She’d looked so damn lonely, and it had taken every bit of restraint not to go to her.

That day at her house, the fear on her face had changed everything. He hadn’t expected that, and it had shaken him. He’d been held captive for a day, once, enduring relentless beatings before his team had gotten him out. It doesn’t just go away. He knew that. The most ridiculous things would trigger a memory, a flashback, a nightmare. Kelly had been held for four days and suffered vile acts that he could not bring himself to think about.

Parking, he went inside to change out of his uniform. Ever since they got back, he’d been so focused on just getting to see her, he hadn’t stopped to think about why she didn’t want to see him.

Fear of what life is going to look like now.

Sophie’s words had stuck with him. He knew it would never be exactly the same. It would take some time, of course, but he thought they would get back to almost normal. He would fix it. That’s what he did. But this wasn’t a simple fix. For the first time he realized he wasn’t sure how to fix this.

He had three hours until fishing. Changing into swim shorts, he strolled down the beach, diving into the waves barely making a splash. The water was cool and refreshing on his skin against the late morning, sizzling hot sunshine. He began a front crawl, picking up speed, his body trying to keep up with his mind.

What happens now? If he came out of this with his rank and team intact, did he go back to work and carry on? It’s what he wanted, but somehow it didn’t feel right. Not with this huge void between him and Kelly. The Navy, his team, had always come first in his life, before everyone and everything, including Kelly. That was a shameful thing to admit and yet, it was the truth. He lived for being a SEAL and Kelly fit in around that. Jeez, he was a selfish bastard. Although, perhaps she didn’t want anything more? Hell, he’d never thought of that. Who knew what she was thinking now? But clearly she cared, or she wouldn’t have taken the time to write that email. Who were those black ops guys and their commander? Fuck, he should have paid more attention. He was going to grill his team once this damn no-contact order was lifted.

He swam for about thirty minutes, while the thoughts kept whirling, over and over, relentless, despite his best efforts to block them out and focus on his swim. Stepping from the cool water, he picked up his towel and patted himself down as his gaze strayed down the beach. He could see Kelly’s rear deck from here and could just make her out sitting on one of the Muskoka chairs, head buried in a book. They’d spent many nights on her deck or his, just watching the sun set. Kelly preferred sunrise over sunset. She always said, “Wherever you are in the world, the sun always rises with the hope of a new day, new hope.”

What if he just walked down the beach right now? Every fiber of him wanted to, but his dad’s words rang in his ears. It wouldn’t be a good idea, at least not until after the board had reached their decision.

Sighing, he walked toward his house, picking up pace when he heard his phone ringing.

“Dawson.”

“Lieutenant Commander Dawson?”

“Yes.”

“My name is Sam Harrison, I am....."

“I know who you are.” Dex was fully alert now. Captain Sam Harrison was a legend in the Navy. Had a reputation that every Navy man wanted to live up to. His name came up time and again in training. He’d retired eight years ago, and last Dex heard he was working with an agency.

“My name still gets bounced around over there, huh?”

“Yes, sir, it does. What can I do for you?”

“I’m on the island and would like to meet with you. Do you have some time today?”

“Time is one thing I have way too much of right now,” Dex answered dryly. He glanced at the time on his phone. He still had a couple of hours before meeting Pops.

“Good. How about the Sunshine Diner in half an hour?”

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