Page 60 of Beautiful Beginning

“Here.” He pointed to the ground. “Like raggedy ass Hill Mount.”

I snapped, “It’s not that raggedy.”

“Oh, you are considering staying here?” He shook his head. “Well kiss that girl goodbye. Hill Mount could never.” Hisneverwent onforever.“Like ever. So, if you want the girl, you better start convincing her your phone sex game is legit.”

“Bruh. What?”

“That long-distance dick down will have to be superb. Imagine all the dudes, looking all modelesque, and making money. Your voice will have to compete with the in-person men trying to knock your girl’s walls down.”

None of what he said was encouraging. “That’s not helping.”

“Neither is considering Hill Mount an option.” He sucked his teeth. “Like the fuck. I could imagine that conversation now, ‘Hey, baby, I know you have that offer to move to Neveah City. And Neveah City would be a great place for you to live. Offering endless opportunities, cash out your ass, and so many things to do you’ll be busy for years into the future. But… hear me out. You should stay here in Hill Mount where none of that is available to you.’ Then make sure you smile big and wide after that.” He pointed at me and said, “Oh and don’t forget to add, ‘and here you’ll have me,’ because bruh that’s the only thing you’ll have to offer.”

“But there is no way I’d move to Neveah City.” It was a small caveat that made it impossible for me to ask her to make a change. “If I wouldn’t, how could I expect her to be open to living anywhere besides there?”

“And see, that’s why relationships are overrated. Somebody has to compromise. Take two people with different goals and aspirations. Then tell them to live a life together where they may or may not get distracted from what they want.” He huffed. “I’ll pass.”

“So long story short. Even if I figure out what I want to do. I love her too much to ask her to give up her dream of moving there.” It’s not like I had loyalty to a certain city. I was more concerned about the job, the impact, and less concerned about the city. But a big city was not some place I wanted to be.

“Do you love her enough to move to Neveah City?”

My pause was as long as it was when Journey told me she got the job. It was minutes of the words bouncing around my head. Trying different paths to a response and ending up stuck, finding their way back, and trying another. Until, finally I said, “I guess if I have to think this hard—”

“Don’t feel bad. Your mind is refusing the disillusion of love. Guess it’s not as powerful as people say. I’m going to let you ponder that for a while. All this talk about love. I need a shot.”

He left my room, and alone, the thoughts didn’t stop. There were three scenarios rolling around in my mind. Go with Journey, Journey stay with me, or we go our separate ways. Not one of those options left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Journey

Beaming sun, a cool pool, and time away from Hill Mount. It was the necessary I knew I needed. Spring Break was calling, and I was answering. Almost. My suitcase splayed open on the floor as I threw clothes, and bikinis inside. I didn’t need much because I had zero plans of being fully dressed at no given time during the break.

The three years prior, me and the girls picked a random sunny spot to visit for spring break. Most times, we had at least a dozen people with us. Half girls, and half guys. This time was no different. Except we were going bigger. It was our last spring break together after all.

We rented a house near the beach. Something a camera crew could have recorded for one of those college specials. From the pictures, it had everything we needed. A lavish pool, hot tub, huge yard, game room, and enough rooms to sleep all eight of us comfortably. Being the only non-single person in the group, I convinced everyone to let me have the main bedroom. A king-sized bed, a huge soaking tub. The works. Perfect for me and Chaz to make up for our failed Valentine’s Day.

Imagine my surprise when he told me, “I can’t.” I was all doom and gloom at first. Thought the end was near and he was dragging it out for whatever reason. Outside of that though, he was as sweet, and kind, as usual. So, I thought, I could call him one last time, and he’d pack a bag and join us.

“Chaz, there’s still time,” I said while throwing my toiletries into a bag.

“You’re going to have a good time I wish I could join you.” Although his idea of a good time did not include a house full of people.

“Is it because there are so many people that will be there.” I dangled, “We’ll have the main suite. And it has a huge soaking tub.” The two of us in a tub together sounded like heaven on earth.

“How much did y’all drop on this place again?” I could hear the judgment in his voice.

“I mean, a paycheck we have yet to receive. But…” I was going to shout YOLO. We’d been screaming it ever since booking the trip. Chaz didn’t seem like one to care about, only living once. I kept that little commentary to myself. “It’s fine. This is our last spring break before adulthood sets in. Who knows the next time we’ll be able to vacation together. Or have enough money to do something like this.”

He chuckled. “So, you have the money now?”

I groaned. “Let me worry about the numbers. I want you there though. Could you at least come down for a few days? At the beginning or the end. Whichever. I want to see my man with his shirt off walking around the pool.” The thought caused me to pause what I was doing and relish in it for a moment. “Yes,” I added, “I need that in my life.”

Chaz was not convinced. “I’ll be here figuring out what’s next for me. I need to find a job because as is, I don’t have a future paycheck to spend.”

“Fair.” I wouldn’t tell one of the community members to overspend. I couldn’t tell him to do so either. “I hope you’ll find something quick, and all that changes before the break is over.” My glass was not only half full, it was overflowing the brim. I needed to drink in all the optimism I could handle. I couldn’t start thinking about all the ways our situation could end in a month. I wanted us to be together, till and forever. “I’ll miss you insanely.”

“Same.” The somberness in his voice didn’t discourage me.

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