Page 23 of Why Not Me?

“Hey.” Landon’s voice startles me, I turn to see him coming out of his office. “Sorry. You were in your head a little. Everything okay?” His expression is concerned, his forehead lined with tiny creases as he examines the slight puffiness to my eyes.

“Yeah, just thinking. It’s been a long day.” I force a smile, ignoring the way his eyes narrow at my attempt to fool him. I glance away, praying he doesn’t pry. I’ve already been through the ringer today and I don’t anticipate it will get better.

He motions for me to take a seat, his fingers working their way over my muscles. The pressure is perfect, soothing. There’s barely a twinge of pain, which is a relief. Vehicles are easy to fix, bodies are not.

“Want to talk about it?” His eyes meet mine, the blue a little darker than usual. I can see the question he really wants to ask, but doesn’t.

I shake my head. “No, but if you know any jokes I could use the laugh.”

“What do you call a cow with no legs?” His response is immediate, a smirk quirking the corners of his lips up.

“I don’t know. What?” I move my neck as he guides me through some stretches, waiting for the answer.

“Ground beef.” The corners of his eyes crinkle as his smirk turns into a full-fledged grin.

Giggling, I shake my head. “A little morbid, but punny. Where did you hear that one?”

“They were telling ‘dad jokes’ on the radio all day today, I cannot claim any of these jokes as my own. I can keep going, if you like?”

He steps back, finished with the testing. When I nod, he taps his lips and looks up at the ceiling.

“What time did the man go to the dentist?”

“What time?”

“Tooth hurt-y.”

He grins at me shamelessly as I laugh.

We work through all my exercises and he tells jokes the entire time until I’m laughing so hard, I can’t do anything else. We’re kneeling next to each other, smiling as he dives into another.

I’m cracking up so hard, I almost snort. “Oh god, these shouldn’t be so funny.”

Landon laughs with me, or maybe at me because I can’t seem to stop. His eyes sparkle as he watches me clutch my stomach.

“Oh my God, just shut me up,” I choke out around my giggles.

Before I know what’s happening, his hand is wrapping around the back of my neck pulling me toward him as he whispers, “Okay.”

His lips crush against mine, our tongues stroking each other as we moan. His free hand snakes around my waist, pulling me into him. I lose myself into his kiss, the way he takes control and gives me everything I’ve been craving. My entire body thrums with the force of emotions running through my body.

I run my hands through his hair, relishing in how right the strands feel between my fingers. Everything in me is lost in him, until my phone chimes from my coat. Brendan’s text tone.

Yanking myself away, I close my eyes in shame.What have I done?

“Allie—” Landon’s voice is rough, low, and it makes me want to kiss him all over again.

“I can’t.” Shoving to my feet, I stumble across the room and throw my coat on, tears burning as they beg to be released. Turning to Landon, I shake my head when he starts to speak. “Please, don’t apologize. I just, I need to go. I’ll text you later.”

Before he has a chance to stop me, I’m out the door and in my car. I brush my fingers over my swollen, tingling lips.

There is no forgiving what I just did. Something I promised myself I wouldn’t do to another person. I thought I had learned my lesson the last time, especially since I was the one who was left broken. I can’t even blame Landon for it. I said those words knowing it would trigger him, because that’s exactly how our first kiss happened.

Taking a deep breath, I open Brendan’s text.

Brendan:I’ve been thinking about you all day. I wanted to talk to you about something when you get home.

My stomach feels sick as I drive away from Landon, knowing I need to talk to Brendan too, but I doubt what he has to say comes even close to what I need to tell him, because I need to be honest. After what just happened, I can’t put off ending things.

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