Page 19 of Before Forever

It was obvious to Derek that I was having some kind of mild meltdown. “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision.” A smile spread across his face that was so wide and perfect.

My stomach came alive with a slew of butterflies flapping their wings like mad making it impossible for me to stand still and just act natural.

Get it together, Melody. Sure, he’s hot. But he’s not the first hot guy you’ve ever seen. Stop acting like a teenager. You have grown-up things to worry about now, like the fact that you just signed on to stay here another month to oversee the renovations of this house.

“Is that cup of coffee you offered still up for grabs?” he asked. “I’d like to go over a few things with you if you have the time.”

“Of course.”

In the time it took me to walk from the entryway to the kitchen, I managed to take a few deep breaths and get my heart rate back to normal. It was still impossible to tell if Derek was solely responsible for my internal freakout or if it was the major change of plans I had just made. Perhaps, it was a little of both.

Either way, we settled around the kitchen island to go over the paperwork, and I was able to get a grip to start acting somewhat normal again. That was, until…

“I’ll be the head person on-site, and you can trust that I won’t let a single piece of work be finalized without my inspection and approval,” he explained.

“And by on-site, you mean, this house?” My eyes widened. “So, you’ll be here working every day?”

His lips curled in a baffled smirk. “Is that alright?”

“Oh, of course,” I shot back quickly, trying to recover.

But inside, I didn’t know how to feel about this startling news. I didn’t like how he threw me off-kilter every time he was around. I didn’t need more of that in my life right now. He did think I was engaged, though, so there was that safety net to fall back on. Nothing could happen between us now. Not that it ever would have anyway, right? I was safe from another heartbreak.

Unless I did decide to take Ethan back for real, making my little lie a reality.

11

DEREK

Melody knew something I didn’t, but it was starting to set in with me all too well. There was something between us, a spark that spread through my body like an electric current. Judging by the way she nervously fidgeted and kept her eyes darting around the room to avoid mine, I could tell she felt it too. And her hesitance about me working in her home every day was to avoid any trouble that us being in such close proximity all the time might cause.

That reality put me in a rush to get out of there to regroup. It had all happened so suddenly. She really was such an odd, unpredictable woman. One minute she practically had one foot out the door already, on her way back to New York. The next, she demanded that I get the papers together for her to sign. I could barely keep up; my head was spinning.

The smell of vanilla and jasmine wafting from her skin and the fruity scent of her shampoo drifting into my senses every time she stood near me wasn’t helping matters any. Not to mention there was the perfect line of cleavage that peeked out from the top of her low-hanging t-shirt and the tightness of her yoga pants. It wasn’t just her erratic decision-making that was throwing me for a loop. It waseverythingabout her.

I watched as she signed the last line of our agreement, then felt a restlessness to bolt for the door and clear my head. Immediately, I drank down the last of my coffee and started gathering up my things.

“I’ll confer with my brother, then we’ll be in touch with a start date,” I explained as I put my hat back on. “But we can likely get things going as early as tomorrow morning if that works for you.”

“The sooner, the better,” she nodded, trying not to stare at the muscles of my arms and chest.

A subtle smirk curled on my lips, which I was quick to hide. “Right. We wouldn’t want to keep you away from that fiancé of yours for too long.”

With that, her pink petal lips parted, and her lashes fluttered over her big blue eyes. “No, we wouldn’t,” she said softly.

I tipped my hat to her and headed for the door, finally managing to escape whatever was brewing between us, at least for a little while.

After climbing into my truck, I tossed my hat back onto the dashboard and ran my hands down my face with a grumbling sigh. I was glad to have the work, but an unsettling feeling rattled around inside. The attraction between us was palpable, but that was the last thing I needed to be entertaining right now. Especially now that I knew she was taken.

I reached into the middle console to dig out my sunglasses. Instead, I found my fingers clasping the picture of Rebecca I always kept in there. When Em was feeling sad before or after school, I’d always pull the photo out for her to look at while I shared one of my favorite memories about her and her mom together. Her face would melt into a peaceful smile as she hid away in the story for a few moments. It made her feel like she was still around us in some small way, almost like she could still reach out and cradle her close the way she used to.

My thumb trailed over her face smiling back at me and her sandy blonde hair. Sometimes the ache from how much I missed her made me think I’d sell my soul to the devil if it meant I could just hold her again…brush my fingers over her perfect dimples, or run the back of my hand down her long hair. The moment of weakness hit me so hard that tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly sucked in a deep breath and wiped them away, stashing the picture back in the console.

I felt guilty for being so attracted to Melody. I never let those feelings sink in about anyone while Rebecca was still here with me. I didn’t even so much as look at another woman. Why would I when I already had the most perfect woman in the world waiting for me at home? And even after she passed away, no one could manage to catch my eye or appeal to me in any way.

That was changing now. But it still felt so wrong. My heart would always belong to Rebecca. I was angry that I even had to grapple with any of this. I didn’t want anyone else. I just wanted her to come back to us.

I started up the truck and started driving before my eyes had time to mist over again, or before I got so mad about it all that I started punching the steering wheel like I had done a few times before in the beginning, when my grief was still so fresh. I quickly turned the radio on and up at almost full blast to try and distract myself. I was on my way to the school for a parent-teacher conference, and I didn’t want my distress to be so obvious to everyone. Then everyone would start feeling sorry for me and gossiping even more than they already were. I’d get loaded down with a new hoard of casseroles and cakes. Growing up in a small town had its disadvantages, especially when tragedy struck.

---