Page 5 of Always Mine

“That’s normal. Everyone goes through that.” I sound defensive, but I can’t help it. I don’t like being backed into a corner.

She throws her hands up before giving my shoulders a placating squeeze. “I’m not saying it’s notokay. Your feelings are justified. I’d probably be the same way if…” he trails off, but I already know she was going to mention my breakup with Paxton. Of course she was. “I wish you didn’t still feel so low about things. I want to shoulder some of it for you. I’m your sister. I hate that you’re hurting, you know?”

My throat feels tight as I watch her lip wobble for a second before she lets out a sigh and drops her hands. “Not the time, Ember,” she scolds herself, then gives me a tight smile as if we didn’t just have a moment. “Now we’re done with that mushy shit. Go help run some more food and maybe help Miles bus some tables.”

“Alright, I’m going,” I respond and take a step away, but then pause to look at my sister once more. “Thanks, Em.” Though I'm not exactly cured of the heartache, I do feel a little better after talking to her, so that’s a plus.

“Always. Now go. We've got shit to do.” She grabs a single paper towel, tossing it in my direction, and I laugh, catching it and throwing it in the trash before heading to the back.

I’d say it was easy after that, but I’d be lying. I was hyper-aware of Paxton’s family and all the glances they were sending my way. Then to top it off, the announcers kept rattling on about number thirteen. I swear that’s all I heard every time I passed a TV.

Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen…

I try to refrain but find myself looking at a uniform-covered Paxton way more than I care to admit. It’s taken me a long time to not willingly seek him out on social media or scroll through all of our pictures just to see his face. I eventually did, though. I even stopped my occasional doses of thinking about him. He used to slide through my mind every couple of weeks, but he wasn’t always right there in the forefront.

Until today.

I hate to admit it, but he looks good on the field. I haven’t had it in me to watch him play over the years, but all the little glimpses I’m getting now just shows how far he’s come since his high school days.He’s better,and honestly, if I wasn’t so bitter, I’d be able to admit how proud of him I was.

Tearing my eyes from the screen, I spot a dirty table and head to it, grabbing the dishes. I can’t wait for this shift to be over so I can go home and relax. All this tension has my system fried, and I’m at the end of my rope, about to snap.

I’m close to the kitchen when there's a loud wave of startled gasps followed by the grimacing voice of the announcer.“Prescott is down and it doesn’t look good.”

I swivel around, zeroing in on the large screen just as the camera pans to Paxton. I watch with bated breath as someone tugs his helmet off and he vomits on the grass. He rocks back and forth, face pinched in pain as he lets out an agonizing cry. It’s not loud, barely picked up by the camera’s mic, but I can hear it as if I’m standing three feet in front of him, frozen and unable to help.

Blood drains from my face to flood my ears. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart as I stand there in horror, seeing the scene play out in front of me. Hands grab me, giving me a little shake, and I blink, focusing on Ember’s worried face. She’s saying something, but I can’t hear it. I feel like I’m under water, drowning. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, and I look around, noting several pairs of eyes on me. I don’t care about them. I only care about one table in particular.

I take in the Prescotts’ teary, fearful expressions as they watch the screen. It’s so devastating,heartbreaking, and as if Iris senses my gaze, she turns, holding me with her tearful stare.

Blinking, I turn back around and look past my sister to see the screen, my eyes on Paxton once more. I can’t believe this is happening. My vision dances with stars and my stomach lurches when I watch another player smack him as if to rouse him.

Oh God.Did he pass out? Will he die? Is he going to be okay? All these questions are floating around my head but no one is here to answer them.

My mind is coursing through every moment we’ve ever shared as the medics flood the field and get him loaded onto a gurney, his body limp the entire time. I think about the last time we talked and how devastating it was—all the tears we shed and all the promises we once made breaking as we ended what I thought was going to beforever.

Is that truly going to be the last memory we have together? That I have of him?

I can’t breathe. The dishes fall from my hands and I clutch my chest, as the shattering sound meets my ears, making the foggy-sounding room loud and buzzing once again. I’m hyperventilating, loud choking sobs leaving me as I try to catch my breath.

It’s too much.Everything is too much.

“Wyatt!” Ember barks, grabbing me again, but it’s not enough to ground me. If anything, it makes it worse. I feel like I’m in full sensory overload now.

The screen narrows, and the last thing I see is a seemingly lifeless Paxton being carried off the field before my vision blacks out and I’m falling.

TWO

Paxton

I’m pissed off.

So fucking angry about this entire mess that I’m close to jumping out of my skin.

I’m at my condo in four-day-old sweatpants and a stained shirt, scowling at my TV while watching my team play andloseto Oklahoma. I glare down at my sling-covered arm and wish, not for the first time, that I’d wake up from this nightmare.

Three weeks. It’s only been twenty days since my entire life was flipped on its axis, and I’m trying really damn hard to remember that this is supposed to be temporary. At least, that’s what my coach reminded me when we had our meeting last week and I was put on a medical leave of absence for the remainder of the season and school year.

It’s ‘only’ a torn rotator cuff,he had said, trying to assure me I’d likely be good for the next season.Likely… I'm not very fond of that word. Likely leaves the possibility of the ‘unlikely’ and all I’m gathering from that is my future shattering completely.

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