Page 4 of Always Mine

All four heads snap up to look at me and there's an air of surprise before their faces all settle on something different. Iris, Pax’s mom, looks elated to see me, while William, his dad, looks taken aback. My eyes scan over his younger siblings, and Bryan, his eighteen-year-old brother, glares back at me, while Lily, his sixteen-year-old sister, seems confused.

Of course I’ve seen them over the last three years, and have given small gestures of greeting and acknowledgement, but I’ve always managed to get the hell out of dodge before having any face-to-face conversations. I’m trapped now though, with nowhere to hide.

Why my luck decided today of all days was the time to have this awkward moment, I’ll never know.

I clear my throat and set the plates down before doing a weird little shuffle. I feel awkward. Everything about this is strange, and no one has yet to say a thing.

Pointing over my shoulder, I’m about to excuse myself when Iris gives her head a little shake. “Thank you for bringing these. I didn’t know you were working here. Your mom has never mentioned it.”

I shouldn’t be too surprised that she’s still hanging out with my mom. They grew up here, and have been friends since they were kids. They also dated mine and Paxton’s dads in high school and got pregnant with us around the same time. Paxton and I were born four months apart and were inseparable. My mom had said, when we were introduced for the first time, I immediately grabbed Paxton’s hand and held it as we both snoozed. The rest is history and we’ve been attached at the hip since.

Well… until three years ago when the entire world stopped making sense.

“I’m just helping out Ember.” I hitch a thumb in her direction. “She was shorthanded tonight.”

“Oh, that’s right. Your mom told me she got the management position. I’ll make sure to talk to her before I leave.” She glances at what I’m assuming is my sister with a fond smile on her lips. “It’s good to see y'all. I talk to Ember every now and then, but it’s been so long since I’ve talked to you. How are things?”

Her words accompany a flood of guilt, and I realize, not for the first time, how crisply I cut these people from my life. “Sorry, I’ve been busy. You know how it goes.” I forced a chuckle, watching as his parents nod in understanding before his brother cuts in, completely knocking my smile away.

“For three years? Wow, you must be exhausted.” His sarcasm cuts deep, and he looks at me with a mix of annoyance and maybe a little challenge—almost as if he’s baiting me—but I won't bite.

He can be mad. It’s justified.

I open my mouth to apologize, because what else can I do? But William jumps in before I can.

They bounce back-and-forth, whispering harshly, talking about me while I literally standright herefeeling more and more shitty as the seconds pass. This has to be in my top five most uncomfortable situations to date, and that’s saying something, considering my mom walked in on me and Pax fooling around in our barn when we were fifteen.

And now my mind is spinning with thoughts of Paxton naked and…fuck.

I need to get the hell away from this table.

“So, anything new?” Iris presses over the bickering, her eyes almost pleading, and the guilt settles heavy in my gut.

The thing is, I love this woman. She’s been like a second mom to me forever, but looking into her big blue eyes that are so much like the eyes of the boy I’ve loved my whole life is literally making my heart crack and my stomach sick. Much like Paxton, she has the most expressive gaze I’ve ever seen, and on him, it’s always been my undoing while on her, it’s typically a source of comfort. Right now, though, I’m not feeling very comfortable. Instead, I just feel like an outsider.A stranger.

I have no one to blame but myself.

But despite how awful I feel, I owe her this much. So I dig deep, reminding myself that it’s been three years and I’m really okay—ish. “I’m doing well. Not much has changed on my end. I’m sure my mama told you I’ve been helping my dad get ready for the fall harvest. It’s almost that time again.”

“Hard to believe. Feels like we just celebrated the Fourth of July,” William adds once he’s done talking to Bryan.

“Time has a way of going by so fast.” She’s aiming a look my way, and while I’m sure there’s another meaning to her words, my brain and my heart are not emotionally stable enough to process it.

“That’s true,” I state just as Ember calls for me. If it wasn’t for my manners, I’d probably let out a thankful sigh. “Sorry, I need to…” I trail off, taking a step back from the table.

“Of course, you go. We’ll catch up another time.” There’s hope in her voice, and while I’m thinking there’s no way in hell that’ll happen, I agree anyway, before turning away and hightailing it like a skittish mouse.

“Thanks for that warning,” I bite out at Ember after grabbing the liquor she needed from the back.

She winces, uncapping the bottle and giving me a side glance. “I’m sorry, but in my defense, I really didn’t know they were here until like ten seconds before I called for you. It’s too busy to keep track of everyone that’s here.”

I release a sigh, knowing I can’t really blame her. “It’s my luck.” She smiles sadly, and I nudge her arm, rolling my eyes. “None of that. It’s fine. Iwillbe fine. It just took me by surprise.”

“I just hate that you’re still sad,” she mutters, whipping together a drink and sliding it to a regular.

“I’m not sad!”

She gives me ‘the look’. “You’re notalwayssad… but you still have those spells.”

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