Page 88 of Abigail's King

Placing the letters on the side in the kitchen ready for tomorrow, I decided that now would be a good time to go to bed. It was nearly ten o’clock, and I wanted to make sure I was up in plenty of time to get to the hotel before Abigail left. Heading up to my room, I got ready and slipped into bed. I placed my head down on the pillow, and it wasn’t long before the events of the day took over and I drifted off to sleep.

I had woken up early after what was the best night’s sleep I’d had since I had thrown Abigail out. It was only seven in the morning, and the sun wasn’t even starting to rise. I decided that I would head out for a run, hoping that it would clear my head for the day ahead. I took my usual route along the beach, the one I had taken on that fateful day. This time, though, all there was, was the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the slight breeze in the air. It was exactly what I needed to get started for the day.

I pushed myself hard as I ran along the beach and then back again to the house. Running on a treadmill was completely different from running in the open air. I had needed to do this for so long, but couldn’t face stepping outside the door. If one thing came from my discussion with Stuart, it was that I was at least able to go outside into the real world now without being afraid of what was waiting for me around the corner.

I got back into the house around eight-thirty and headed straight upstairs to my bedroom to grab a shower. No matter what happened today, I wanted Abigail to see I was starting to take care of myself. I didn’t want to cause her any worry, especially if it could affect the twins. It was one reason why I was dreading seeing her today. I was going there to prove that I loved and wanted her, but also I didn’t want anything to happen to my children. I didn’t want to add to the stress or the worry Abigail was going through, even though I knew deep down I had been the one to cause it in the first place.

Finally dressed, I headed back downstairs. I knew I should eat something, but I couldn’t face the thought of eating anything. My nerves had started to kick in, and I was worried about whether I was doing the right thing. My thoughts were running a mile a minute and everything about my plan had already completely left my head, and this was before I had even seen Abigail. As if sensing my worry, my phone started to ring. Looking at the caller ID, I could see it was Mateus.

“Hey, Mateus.”

“Hey. How are you doing? Are you still coming to see Abigail today?”

I hesitated before I spoke. I wasn’t sure what to say. Yesterday, I had seemed so confident, but today I was a completely different man again. The vulnerability that I had always fought hard to cover had come back with a vengeance.

“Ricardo, are you okay?”

“I had everything planned out for what I was going to say, but everything I came up with has gone out of my head. What if I totally muck this up and she leaves me for good? What the hell will I do then?”

I could feel my breathing starting to increase as the panic started to set in. My heartbeat was out of control, and I could feel my body starting to heat up with my anxiety.

“You’re not going to know if you don’t see her. Just be honest with her. Deep down, she knows you love her and understands that it’s going to be difficult to prove that you want her as much as, if not more than, the twins. Just tell her what you were going through when you told her to leave. You’re not using it as an excuse, just as an explanation. I suggest you sit down and tell her everything, and I do mean everything. She needs to understand what you have been living with all your life.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It is. You’re the one who’s making it difficult. Look if you need moral support, I will help you all the way. But I’m guessing there are things you don’t want me to hear. Just at least come and say goodbye. Tell her that you need a little more time to get yourself in a better place. Abigail will understand, I can assure you. Especially the way you were when she left.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you, Ricardo. I couldn’t stand to see either of you hurting anymore.”

We said our goodbyes and ended the call. The time was just coming up to nine-fifteen, and I knew I had at least a thirty-minute drive to get to the hotel, so I grabbed a coffee to go and headed out to my truck.

This was either going to be the best day of my life or one that I would remember as the day I lost my Bonita forever.

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