Page 34 of 2 Books in One Bundle

Why not?

It would mean discarding a lifetime of keeping a firm lid on the box that contained everything he didn’t want to think about. It would mean exposing to her certain parts of his bleak inner self that had never seen the light of day. But if it got him what he wanted, if it neutralised the possibility of her disappearing with their child when she realised he was damaged beyond repair, it was a price worth paying.

CHAPTER TWELVE

MIAHADNOTreally expected Zander to accept the deal that she’d offered him even though it had felt slightly on the exploitative side, which should have felt like payback, but annoyingly didn’t.

In fact, when hedid, she thought she must have misheard. That wouldn’t have been beyond the realms of possibility. She’d been thoroughly distracted by the picture of marriage he’d painted, the silver-tongued devil. She’d been pondering the odd reaction she’d had to his declaration that he would never love her, which was nothing new and should not have come as a blow but had nevertheless caught her off-guard.

But she had to park all that for now. The glimpses of the man beneath the surface that she’d previously had had been accidental, she was certain. Tonight, he’d decided to actively seek her input—he mustreallywant her to marry him, although she couldn’t see why when surely he’d realised by now that he could trust her, her quick trip to the gallery notwithstanding—and it somehow felt momentous.

He took his time pouring himself the drink he’d muttered he’d need if he was really going to do this. More to deliberate where they should sit, before settling on the library downstairs, a cosy space that had two chairs, both facing a built-in electric fireplace, which meant there was no facing each other.

Mia sat in her chair and sipped her tea, tracking Zander’s movements as he set the bottle he’d brought with him down in anticipation of a challenging conversation, he’d said, and sat in the chair next to her. The suspense was killing her, but she would not revert to old bad habits and push. She would sit back and let this play out in its own time. He would start when he was comfortable. To her relief, however, because patience really wasn’t her strong point unless she was in the kitchen, she didn’t have long to wait.

‘So about this evening,’ he said eventually, staring into the fire. ‘Iwastense.’

Aha. She knew it. ‘Why?’

‘I always am when we meet up as a group.’ He scowled and knocked back half of his drink. ‘I just don’t get them. They seem so relaxed with each other. I can’t understand how they do it.’

So hedidfeel like an outsider. ‘Well, obviously I have no experience of siblings,’ she said, reminding herself to rein in her rampant curiosity and tread carefully, ‘but I wouldn’t have thought it’s a conscious thing. Presumably, you spent your childhood together. You must all know each other inside and out. They’re relaxed with you too.’

‘Only because I make it easy for them.’

That wasn’t necessarily true. ‘I think you’re underestimating yourself. By taking me along to dinner this evening and dropping our baby bombshell you could have made things very difficult for them indeed if they hadn’t approved.’

‘Possibly.’

Definitely. ‘What do you think would happen if you dropped the facade?’

‘I’m not sure I ever want to find out,’ he said with a shudder that suggested she’d been right about the maelstrom.

‘What are you hiding?’

‘Nothing in particular.’

She found that hard to believe. At the very least, his super confident exterior had to conceal a chronic lack of self-esteem. She should know. She’d suffered from it herself, and the fundamentals of their circumstances weren’t that dissimilar.

‘I’m just no good at relationships and I’d like to correct that,’ he said gruffly. ‘The last thing I want is to turn out like either of my parents.’

‘You won’t. I won’t let you.’ And besides, despite the occasionally odd way of showing it, he did have the baby’s best interests at heart.

‘I might if I don’t figure out how to be better.’

‘You run one of the largest private companies in the world,’ she pointed out. ‘You couldn’t do that without building and maintaining relationships.’

He frowned and fell silent for a moment, as if he’d never considered that before. ‘That’s different,’ he said eventually. ‘That’s work.’

‘So it’s just close personal ones you struggle with.’

‘Yes.’

‘Then what about Valentina? You must have dated her more than once. You introduced her to your family. You broke your rule for her.’

‘Valentina predated the rule,’ he said with a grimace. ‘She was the reason for the rule.’

Oh? ‘In what way?’

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