Page 35 of Azriel

“I said I probably wouldn’t make a good roommate,” Azriel mumbled as he looked at the ground.

Vali smoothed back a piece of his hair. “If we’re friends, and we still like each other, that’s what matters. You’re not lesser because someone did something to you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you want to sit in the wagon?”

“Yeah…”

He didn’t expect Vali to cuddle him on the cloak and stroke his hair. Unvern always acted like Azriel was a pest and a crybaby if he got upset about the past. Vali didn’t tell him he needed to get over it or try to guide things back to sex.

Azriel hugged him tighter and tried to let the nice touch ease him into sleep so he didn’t have to remember anything for a bit.

Vali

Azriel was particularly awkward and quiet the next morning, like he thought Vali would be disgusted by him or something.

The only one that disgusted him was whoever Red was. He knew people like that existed, but it wasn’t something he thought about, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever met someone who’d been abused by one.

No wonder Azriel said he had no friends. They must have stopped wanting to talk to him because of what happened. Some friends.

He wanted to choke that Red bastard, beat him, and do a number of other things that resulted in death. Since Azriel didn’t want to talk about it, Vali didn’t know what to do except treat him the same.

"Is it a bad day?" Vali asked him as he ate.

Azriel shrugged. "Not exactly."

"I guess you've never told anyone or not much, huh?"

"No."

"I still want us to go to the fairy realm," said Vali. "As long as you still want to be my friend."

"I do, but I feel like I can't be a very good friend."

Vali brushed crumbs from his hand. "If you didn't have many actual friends later, then how would you know? Maybe if you weren't alone and had someone, you'd see you're a lot better than you thought. When you're by yourself a lot, it gives you time to start nitpicking at yourself."

Vali had thought of that last night. He'd picked apart his appearance a lot and trashed himself for it. Azriel had probably picked himself apart inside in the years after what happened and internalized a lot of stuff that wasn't true. It was why he didn't have a good opinion of himself in general, and he'd been through a lot worse.

"Maybe if you gave yourself a chance, you'd see you're different," finished Vali. "You're not how everyone treated you back home."

Azriel seemed to be thinking about that. "But sometimes I don't feel like sex, and that affects the other person."

"I understand you come from a place where feeding is pretty important, but if you can't do something, it's not the end of the world. I like getting off too, but not at someone else's expense. It's not going to kill me if I don't get off, and your feelings and well-being are more important than my dick. Also, I don't want to just be your friend to suck dick. If you decide you can't stand me later, you're not stuck with me either."

Azriel inched closer and rested his head on Vali’s shoulder. "I've always wanted a real friend. The guy I was with before I left the realm wasn't…nice. He beat me up because I didn't want to fuck. That's why I was so hurt and needed the pearls. I used up what magic I had to get out as fast as possible."

Vali hugged him. "Oh, my God. If I could find those people that have hurt you-"

Azriel squeezed him. "No, no, no! They have magic!"

"They need to pay!"

"Maybe they will somehow. Maybe the demons will finally get through and kill them. It’s enough that you care."

***

Vali breathed a sigh of relief once he was in his room that evening. Azriel had gotten in through the window without being seen. Vali had dropped off the wagon with Mother’s boss, walked home, and told her the trip was uneventful.

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