Page 70 of All My Firsts

Our lunch with Bryce and his cop buddies turned into a meeting at the station. Xander thought it was a good idea to tell Bryce everything even though he was a local cop and couldn’t do much out of his jurisdiction. But he could keep an eye on their mom.

I wasn’t on board with the idea at first. I mean, knowing someone else would have to be told about my past and my secrets made me want to vomit. But I quickly realized I needed to think not only of myself. Getting help from law enforcement was a step in the right direction.

Bryce was professional as Xander and I recounted the facts from the past months. From hearing about Max’s visit to campus to him having someone follow me, Bryce kept a cool demeanor while taking notes on his tablet. I limited how much I told him about my life back in Texas as well. We described it as a relationship gone bad. For now, Xander agreed that wassufficient.

As we sat in the room that looked eerily like the ones from crime shows on TV, the three of us decided it was best if Xander and I went back to school early. It was the only plan we could come up with to keep Jane completely safe.

“It’ll be OK, guys. I’ll have a car watching the house.” Bryce’s words did little to make me feel better. But it was all we had at the moment, so it would have to do. Xander and I jumped back into his Jeep, trying to figure out our next step.

“When we get home, why don’t you finish packing up our stuff? I guess we need to head back to school.” His hands were clenching the steering wheel, though he was trying to keep his words light. “He asked for your phone number. I wouldn’t give it to him.” Xander looked my way, clearly to gauge my reaction. “But I did give him mine.”

“What! Why would you do that, Xander?” The fear came through inmy question.

“Hey, it’s OK. Bryce agreed it was OK. I figured it was a way to keep tabs on him too.” He reached over and grabbed a hold of my hand, rubbing circles on the palm. I laid my head back for the rest of the ride, too tired to think about anymore of this.

And thankfully when we pulled in the driveway, we were alone. Jane was still at work. I had no interest in talking to anyone else about what was going on. But then that idea was shattered as we got ourselves inside.

“I think we should call your father,”Xander said.

No, I couldn’t have him talk to my dad again. I was lucky that he didn’t get more out of my father last time.

“He could have some other information that might help.” I was trying really hard to keep it together, but these new developments were about to put me over the edge. I really didn’t need Xander talking to my father again. There was too much at risk. “I’ll ask Bryce what he thinks. I have your dad’s number. Bryce and I can call him ifwe need to.”

“Do you really think that’s necessary, calling my dad? I’m sure there isn’t much else he can tell you.” The concern in my voice came through more than I wanted, causing Xander to snap hishead my way.

“He told me to call him if we needed to, Lanie. I think this is a time that it’s needed. How do you know he can’t help? Maybe there’s something small he can tell Bryce. Ya never know.” He put his keys and wallet on the counter, standing against the kitchen island, studying my expression, looking for answers I didn’t want to give him. He walked up to me, close enough to kiss me, and asked, “Birdie, what are you not telling me? Is there something else about your parents we should know?” I shook my head instantly. “Listen, with everything going on, if there’s anything that can help with this guy, ya gotta tell me.” He was growing impatient with me, Icould tell.

“I, um, it’s just that, he might, um, have some ... shit!” I was pacing in the kitchen and stopped by the back window, staring out at some snowflakes drifting from the sky. “Hmm, it’s snowing again.” I turned to look at him, knowing my eyes would convey what was coming. “It doesn’t seem as pretty as yesterday’s. Max really does ruin everything.” I stalled, not wanting to continue but knowing the time had come.

Xander had toknow it all.

And it had to come from me.

I found a chair at the table and slumped into it, my defeat evident. He understood the gravity of what was coming and silently sat in the chair next to me, waiting. I had several failed attempts at starting, my words getting clogged in my throat.

“So, you, uh, know there’s more to my story.” I looked up at him. The only acknowledgment I received was a small nod. “So, um, Max and me, we ... I didn’t meet him in the traditional way. We met at a dinner with our parents. His dad works for a big oil company, and apparently our dads were working together on a lot of things.” My hands were on the table, and I was nervously wringing them together.

“Okaaay.” Xander’s indifference to the start of my story frustrated me, but I knew it wasn’t his fault. He had no idea what he was about to learn.

“Lanie, please make sure you try hard to make this work tonight. It means a lot to your father. He needs this connection forhis career.”

“Mom, do you know what you’re asking of me? Really? This is so weird. I can’t believe you’re trying to set me up with this guy’s son. I can’t believe you’re going along with this. What if he’s an ugly dork? And he doesn’t even go to my school. This is ridiculous. You know that, right?”

“Lanie, when your father decided to go into politics, we all knew there were going to be sacrifices that needed to be made, things we were going to have to do that we weren’t used to doing. This is one of those things. I’m sorry, but yes, I need you to do this. Go on a few dates – I’m sure he’s a nice boy. They have a lot of money. I’m sure he’ll buy you some nice things. And he’s a bit older, actually already graduated high school. I’m sure he will know how to treat a young lady. So here, wear this, and let’s get you all pretty for him. His name is Max.”

The first sign I had of things to come that night was right after dinner. All of us were in the den. And I was about to experience my first kiss.Yep, my very first kiss in my life happened in front of my parents. They actually were the ones that told us to do it. It was the most awkward moment of my life, and it should have been foreshadowing of what was to come. Because darkness came after that, lots and lots of darkness. But that’s the problem with abuse. It sneaks up on you. If you saw it coming, everyone would get out of its way. But it doesn’t work like that.

And then there’s the dress she put me in that fateful night three years ago. It played a dual role as Max and I left our parents later in the evening. When he asked me to go for a walk around our property, I was more than willing, hoping we could have a redo of that ill-timed first kiss in front of everyone. At that point, I kind of had a crush on him. He was cute, older, all the things a girl my age would want. He grabbed my hand, and we headed out the back door for a tour of the grounds. My parents’ house was nice enough. My dad was a lawyer before becoming a congressman in the state, so we had a decent piece of property with some wooded area in addition to a pool and a pool house. Everything seemed OK at first as we walked hand in hand, looking around as I gave the two-cent tour. He wasn’t saying much, an occasional grunt here or there. Once he saw the pool house, his interest perked up and he started dragging me toward it.

“Is it unlocked? Canwe get in?”

Those were the first full sentences he had uttered to me since meeting, and I didn’t like the menacing look on his face as he asked the questions. I simply nodded in response as he opened the door and we slipped inside.

And immediately I was uncomfortable with the isolation. Max had dropped my hand and was walking around the space. He looked to be inspecting it. He walked over to the door, locked it, then came back to me, grabbed my hand, and pushed me onto the couch.

“Lanie, our parents have decided we’re going to be together, and I’ve been with worse girls.” As he said this, his eyes leered at my chest and he stood over me. Then, all of a sudden, he reached down with both of his hands, roughly grabbing both my breasts. I started to pull away out of instinct. No one had ever touched me there, ever, and he was actuallyhurting me.

“Uh-uh, nope, you’re not going anywhere, Lanie. Didn’t you hear our parents? This is a done deal between us. This is permanent. We’re together. It’s you and me. We’re together until we get married.”