Page 64 of All My Firsts

“Lanie, I know you probably know this already, but you deserve to hear the words today, and every day from now on ...I love you.”

Those words, his words, reached every fiber of my body and soul. They warmed me from theinside out.

Never in my life did I think I would wind up in this position. He had shown up and saved me, rescued me from the despair and torture I’d endured for years. I was drowning, deep below the surface, ready to sink to the bottom. He had not only pulled me from the depths but carried me to shore and provided asafe haven.

He made me think everything was going tobe alright.

The power of this feeling was overwhelming, all-consuming.

I looked into his eyes, straight into his soul, and I saw it. I saw hislove for me.

“Xander, I love you, too. God, I love you so much.”

He rolled me on top of him, and his mouth claimed mine with such vigor and intensity I felt as though I would melt in his arms. His hands were entwined in my hair as mine manically pulled up his shirt. He sat up a bit and did that sexy thing where he pulled it over his head with one hand, his torso muscles straining while hetook it off.

I think I growled.

He looked at me withhooded eyes.

Then, I did something I never thoughtI could do.

I rolled us over.

Xander was on top of me.

Xander froze and stared down at me, pulling up slightly. “Are you sure, baby?Is this OK?”

“Yes, I trust you withall of me.”

“Are we doing this, birdie? Are you OK with this moving on?” He lay back down on top of me with his arms framing my face, his eyes intent on me as he waited for my answer. I knew he wouldn’t continue withoutpermission.

“I want this,” I said. “I need this. I want you. I love you.” He leaned in for a more passionate kiss this time, slowing it down, trying to take control.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say those words,” he said as he stared down at me. “I feel like I need nothing else to be happy. I love you so much.” His mouth found mine, our breaths fighting each other, and then hepulled away.

No more words were needed; the heat of the moment took over. He reached down to the hem of my shirt and pushed it up and over my head in one smooth motion, throwing it somewhere across the room. I reached for his belt buckle at the same time he reached for the button of my jeans. We both struggled to get them off each other in the position we were in. I finally took my own pants off, too impatient, needing this to happen quicker. He did the same and came back down, lowering himself over me, arms caging my face. His one hip was to my side, his hands finding the hooks of my bra.

Finally, there was nothingbetween us.

For the first time ever.

His solid body against me, skin to skin, for the first time, was unforgettable. The coolness of his touch on my scorching body was a perfect storm brewing. A collision, a driving force I didn’t want to get out ofthe way of.

It felt as though we weremeant to be.

His hands were all over, starting on my neck. He pulled me up so his mouth could devour me there, trailing kisses down toward my collarbone. His other hand reached for my breast, cradling, caressing, teasing. Its peak, at full attention, was hoping his mouth would reach it next. And he did not disappoint, taking my breast between his lips, my back arching to meethis desire.

His hand continued its downward exploration while his mouth remained attached to me. The lightest touch of his fingertips across my stomach sent me into a spiral already, making memoan loudly.

“Birdie, we’re not alone. Your sounds are driving me insane, but ...”

I couldn’t control myself. His touch sent me into a euphoric state, causing moans and whimpers to slip from my mouth. But I bit my lip and kept them deep in my throat. That seemed to do something to him, his body responding with a firm grind up against my hip. An equally stifled moan rumbled deep inside of him.

At that point, things shifted.

His eager fingers began to explore the tender parts of my body, his eyes imploring for further permission. I granted that permission by separating my legs even further, allowing greater access. His every touch to my body created a warmth, a surging heat, all the way to my core. I shook with anticipation for what was to come next.

The undulating waves started before I even knew what was happening. No one had ever focused on me; never before had I been intimately the center of attention, so loved and cared for until him. Right now, all Xander wanted was to make me feel good. Completely selfless.

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