Page 2 of All My Firsts

I tried shrugging my face out of his hand; he had never before gone for my face. He was always careful about making sure there was no visible evidence.

But not this time.

“Max, you’re hurting my face.” I tried to speak with my mouth still squeezed tight, hoping he would come to his senses. I didn’t want to wind up in the poolhouse today.

“Hey, guys, everything OK?” The voice that came from behind the bushes startled Max enough for him to release me. I tried to stand from the chair, knocking it on its side before I could get completely up.

“Hey, Karl, what’s up? What are you doing here?” Max tried to play it cool, but there was an edge to his voice. His annoyance that Karl interrupted uswas obvious.

“Your dad sent me here for some paperwork,” Karl said, his eyes bouncing between us, “and Lanie’s mom told me you were both by the pool.” His wary eyes moved to me when he said that. Karl may have been Max’s friend, but there were signs of that friendship breaking down. “Lanie, you OK?”

“She’s fucking fine, Karl.” Max was angry, but Karl didn’t let itbother him.

“Well, why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Karl was looking back and forth between Max and me again, trying to make sense of what he heard and saw.

I decided to take advantage of what might be my only shot left.

“I asked Max to come. I needed to talk to him about me going to college. My decision is due tonight, and I wanted to talk it over with him before I sent that off.” The look I shot Karl resembled an SOS, and I hoped he was ableto read it.

“Oh, that’s awesome, Lanie. Where will you be headed in the fall?” Karl reacted with a keen eye on meas he asked.

And just like that, Karl became my savior.

There was no way Max could, or would, react the way he truly wanted to after that. He wouldn’t risk showing his true colors in front of someone else, especially Karl. Our conversation continued, mostly between me and Karl. Max remained stoic, quiet.

Angry.

“I could use a ride back to your house, Max,” Karl said, turning toward him as we started on the path to the house. “I already got what your dad needed, and he’s waiting on me. I was up the road at Brianne’s, and I walked. So, are ya heading back to work now?”

Tiny goosebumps spread across my body, and the hairs on my arms stood on end. Would Max be leaving with Karl? Was Karl doing thisforme? I knew there would be no way to know for sure, but it wouldn’t matter. As long as Max was leaving, I didn’t care. I avoided any eye contact with Max and stepped around him to follow Karl on the path that led to the house.

“My mom needed me to help her with some things soon anyway, so that’s great timing.” I hoped my inward delight wasn’t evident in my voice. Knowing Max was right behind me, I knew things could change at any moment. And like I had anticipated, once we got to the foyer, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

“Hey, Karl, give me a sec. I’ll meet youat my car.”

Karl gave me a wary look, as if he didn’t know if he should head out the front door,but he did.

“Lanie,” Max whispered. His softer side always came out after he calmed down. “Are you really helping your mom with something right now?” As he asked this, his fingers stroked what must have been marks on my face left there by him. “Ya know I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to do this. I just get so angry thinking about you leaving.” The apologies always came right after. It was such a set pattern with him. He leaned in closer, as if he was goingto kiss me.

“I think she’s actually coming now.” I turned my face away, pretending to look for her. I knew she wasn’t coming, but it was enough of a distraction to stop the onslaught of the kiss. Max backed away a bit, the breath I had been holding escaping with a hiss. “And I can get out of helping her. I can tell her I have too much homework or something.” Max was so removed from my life he had no idea that I had no relationship with my mother anymore – at least not one that a normal eighteen-year-old girl usually had. These past few years had somehow created a wall between her and I. She stayed distant, never wanting to intervene or get involved at all.

Reaching up, I touched my face, wondering how bad it looked. I knew he was only concerned about appearances. But Max watched and winced, calm Max still present.

The front door pushed open, and we both turned to see Karl pophis head in.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Karl said, but he was looking directly at me, “but your dad called, wondering where I am. We should getgoing, Max.”

Max nodded his head at Karl, then looked at me. “I’m sorry again. Go take care of the college thing. It was decided long ago that was the plan. I have no right to change that.”

I nodded, surprised he was still being compliant. Yeah, the apologies always came, but they didn’t always last this long. It seemed as though he walked in slow motion toward the door, taking forever to close it. The moment he did, I ran to lock it and took off up the stairs formy bedroom.

My laptop was open to the site before the two of them pulled out of my driveway. As I saw the taillights turning onto the road, my finger was pushing “Accept.”

I did it.

I was getting out of here. And away from him. He had no idea I planned on ending us right before I leftfor school.

And this was the escape clause none of them hadanticipated.

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