Page 23 of All My Firsts

She was flitting around in her closet, trying to look busy. But the moment I said her name, her head popped over her dresser. The apprehensive look on her face made my stomach drop. She was afraid to say the wrong thing and receive the wrong outcome. This wasn’t fair to her, and I felt a pang of sadness at the fact that I’d put her through this so early in ourfriendship.

“I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass, and you’re right – I promised you and Xander I’d be there tonight. I shouldn’t give Max that much power, the ability to ruin my whole day and night, right? So, get your wardrobe skills ready, and maybe even your makeup skills, too!”

The squeal that emerged from that girl’s mouth was enough to sound an alarm.

“Oh my God, Lanie, I’m so happy and excited! And you’re right – he does not have the right to do that from so far away! Screw him and that Texan horse herode in on!”

She came tearing around with a handful of tops she must have already decided on when she was hoping this would be my decision. I didn’t see much material hanging from the hangers, but I gave her carte blanche to dress me above the waist. At least I knew my legs wouldbe covered.

As I watched her gathering all of her makeup to get started, I realized this was another first I had stolen back from him.

I had a best friend, a real, truebest friend.

And he couldn’t take her away from me.

Becca looked amazing, her raven curls rolling down her back. She highlighted her bright green eyes with the right brown eyeshadow, her long eyelashes curling almost up above her brows. She wore a short skirt with a red silky tank and tall, knee-high boots.

She wasa knockout.

I, on the other hand, paled in comparison next to her, with my platinum white blonde hair and blue eyes so light at times I thought they held no color. My hair was so straight I could never get it to hold a curl, but somehow Becca performed hair magic tonight and I had curls. Not the same gorgeous mane as on her head, but wavesnonetheless.

She was good to me with my makeup, kept it simple. I had my jeans on, didn’t budge with that, and I still had my Chucks on my feet. “No one will even see them in the dark room” was my argument. The silky black top she chose was definitely not one I would have picked, but it looked good, I guess. It was low cut and accentuated my chest, considering it barely covered my bra. And Becca made me wear her sheer, lacy, black thing that barely counted as a bra as it was. So yeah, I was barely covered.

“You look hot, Lanie. Xander is going to go crazy when he sees you. That bra does all the right things toyour tits.”

I rolled my eyes, not telling her about the cluster of butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach. My nerves were suddenly on edge.

“I think you’re gonna give Ty a heart attack going into the party looking the way you do. You’re going to have every guy in that room clamoring for your attention. I hope he can handle that.”

Becca smiled widely at that. “Good. He needs to know what he has. Make him keep working for me.” I liked her attitude. It was good to see her assert herself in the relationship. “But he knows deep inside I’m leaving with him at the end of the night, so it’s all good. Let’s go – let’s get drunk tonight!”

She looked at me, walked over, and put her hands on my shoulders. “Hey, I know today was a hard one, and I’m really proud of you for rallying, so if you need to leave, say the word and we’re out ofthere, OK?”

“Becca, what did I do to deserve you? And all the crap I put you through, the drama. Who needs that? I’m going to try, really try, to leave it all behind and be an easier person to be friends with.” I reached out and hugged her tight. “Thank you. Thank you forbeing you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for being a friend, Lanie. That’s what friends do for each other. If it were reversed, I know you’d do the same for me. And never change who you are for anyone, you hear me? You’re going through shit, we all do, and I’m here for you to help you get through it. I’m glad I can be.” She pushed me away from her and looked at me with stern eyes. “Now, we have to stop because I worked way too hard on both of our faces to have us start blubbering, so let’s go!” She grabbed my hand, and we started off down the hall toward Xander’s room.

The moment we stepped foot out of our door, we heard the beat of the bass coming from his room. We both got excited, and our feet were racing down the hall to Xander’s room. We pushed the door open, and it was lit up with LED lights blinking to the beat of the music.

It was like we were in a club, the atmosphere electric!

Xander saw us immediately, his head snapping our way the moment we walked in. It was as if he’d been waiting for us to come through the door. We walked around the room saying our hellos. Well, I walked – Becca bounced. I was trying to act casual, not look his way. But I couldn’t help but sneak a peek every once in a while. And each time I did, his eyes were on me. His eyes traveled the length of my body, his appreciation apparent. And I didn’t expect to appreciate him doing that. Those butterflies in my stomach were doing a dance, and the sweat had started on the back of my neck because of it.

Becca was being her typical social self. And I was the tagalong, pretending to care and listen as I stood by her side. Yeah, progress was made, but this was a whole new level. There had to be almost twenty people crammed into the tiny room, which left little space to maneuver. We were basically shoulder to shoulder. We were talking to two girls, Ashley and Lena, who lived at the opposite end of the hall. They were actually really nice, and I thought I could be friends with them if I wasn’t so socially awkward.

But then more eye contact was made.

He started to make his wayover to us.

“Hi, Lanie. Hi, Becca. I’m glad you made it. Are your guys coming, too?”

Becca’s head snapped toward mine. She pushed her elbow into my side as she screamed to Xander over the music. “Xander! I think you’ve got some misinformation there, dude! Come see me if you want some clarification!”

He looked at Becca with interested eyes as the two of us found our way to the bucket of drinks. I reached in and pulled out two cold seltzers, handing one to Becca.

“I told you he thought Logan and I were together. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be pursuing anyone right now. I just got here, just ended a really bad relationship. It’s not the right time.” Becca was rubbing off on me. I was starting to ramble more and more lately. I cracked open the cold drink and took a long chug. All the while, Becca was staring at me. In disbelief.

“Who said anything about you having to be in a relationship? You know you can just hook up with a guy, right? He’s fucking hot. Like, really fucking hot. Most girls would give their left tit to even have him talk to them, let alone look at them the way he looks at you.” Her eyes darted back and forth, as if she was checking to make sure no one could hear her. Which was hilarious in a packed room with deafening music. “Just fuck him.”

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