Page 15 of All My Firsts

But then he looked at me again. Me, while I was wringing my hands together with nervous energy because I had caused this. I backed away from them, and theytook notice.

Xander spoke up next, trying to defuse the situation. “Yeah, so it’s Logan, right? You’re right, man. Sorry, Lanie. I should be more careful.” He glanced at Logan briefly, but his eyes came right back to mine. I heard the sincerity in his voice. “I’m actually glad we ran into one another, Lanie.” He smiled at his pun. “I wanted to let you know about the party I’m throwing next week, the one we talked about.” This time, he looked right at Logan.

Logan’s response was to expel his pent-up breath. Loudly. I elbowed him in theribs. Hard.

Christ, they were like children. And I really had no idea what was going on between thetwo of them.

“So, anyway,” Xander continued, “I’m having people over on Wednesday. I hope that works for you.” He hesitated as he forced his hands into his pockets, his eyes darting around as if he didn’t know how to continue. He then turned his attention toward Logan. “And I guess if you two are together, that means you’re invited, too.”

“Wait, what?!” I yelped. As soon as I did, I noticed the wince on Logan’s face. But he squared up quickly andspoke first.

“Nah, we aren’t together. She’s got this sick ex from home she’s still dealing with. She’s not ready for aboyfriend.”

That one sentence from him said and did so many things. I felt dizzy at the notion that people knew about Max.

“Logan, how do you know about that? I haven’t told anyone. Becca barely knows.” The words were a whisper between the three of us. I never intended to allow that part of my life to reach me here.

“I guess I just listen well.” Logan wanted his words to hold weight with me; I saw that in his face once he said it. I couldn’t answer him. I couldn’t do anything. All I did was shift my eyes from his stare, but I was unsure where to look. My eyes landed on Xander.

His look told me that Logan’s words did hold weight with him.

It was as if all his questions about me were answered in that one sentence from Logan. Like he could put the final piece of the puzzle known as Lanie together. But I wasn’t that much of an open book; he may have thought he’d solved the mystery of me, but there was no way heknew it all.

Because no one knew it all. Noone but me.

“Well, I’m sure Logan won’t go talking about anything you don’t want him to. Am I right, Logan?” Xander’s words held a bit of a threat toward Logan, and this needed to be diffused. I didn’t need a pissing match between two guys over me when I had no intention of being with either of them. I looked over at Logan, his shoulders a bit deflated as he realized he’d overstepped with this one.

“He wouldn’t do that, no worries. We’ll see ya later, Xander.” I grabbed Logan by the sleeve and pulled him awayfrom Xander.

Logan and I continued on our way in silence, awkward silence. As we got further into the room, I saw Becca waving feverishly for us to come to the table she had.

“Becca’s over there,”I murmured.

“Yeah, um, OK,” Logan stammered. “I’ll be there in a sec.” He took off in the opposite direction, seemingly to get food. I turned around and forced myself to not look back. Becca was staring me down as I approached the table. I knew she saw the three of us talking. I also knew she would have questions.

“Xander’s having a room party on Wednesday, and we’re all invited. And yes, that’s it.” She gave me a look, knowing there was more. But she also knew when it came to me, I would shut down on the turn of a pin, so shedidn’t push.

“OK, then. Well, I’m glad you finally made it.” Her knowing look told me she understood the talk she witnessed was something we would eventually have to discuss, although I would avoid doing that at all costs. “I’ll come with you to get your food. I have something to tell you, and I don’t want to do itaround Ty.”

I would have been scared of those words if she didn’t have the darndest wide smile on her face I’d ever seen. “So, I’ve been nervous to tell you this, and I don’t want it to change anything between any of us.” And just like that, I, of course, knew where this was going. And I was thankful for the distraction. “But Ty and I are kind of seeingeach other.”

She stopped and stared, I guess waiting to see my reaction, which of course was elation for her. I had known for the longest time that she liked him.

“Becca, I’m thrilled for the two of you! I knew you both liked each other. It was obvious for, like, forever. So I’m glad you guys are giving it a go. You deserve to be happy.” I leaned in and gave her a hug.

But inside, I had to admit I was worried about how this would possibly affect the four of us. The two of them would pair off, obviously in a much different way than Loganand I would.

After I had gotten some food, we started toward the table where Logan and Ty were already eating. Thankfully, Logan didn’t acknowledge me when I sat down. Maybe we could both forget what had happened between him, Xander, and me.

“I’m glad you’re not worried, because I think Logan will be.” She whispered this in my ear as we were sitting down.

And Logan was.

As soon as we sat, he blasted Becca and Ty with his questions.

“So guys, when you get into your first fight, which you will, where does that leave me and Lanie? What are we supposed to do? We can’t take sides in it. How does this affect all of us if you guys break up?”

OMG! Great minds thought alike!

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