Page 50 of All My Firsts

“Where are they going? What do you mean they’re leaving the country? He’s a congressman. He can’t just up and leave, can he?” I immediately grabbed for my laptop and started plugging my dad’s name into the search bar. Tons of news articles popped up about his early retirement from his political position.

“Oh my God, Xander, he quit. That was his life. They forced him out somehow. How does an oil exec force my dad out of office?” I looked over at him with fear in my eyes. “Where is that account number?” He handed it to me, and I started plugging it in. “Did he give you a username and a password?” My voice was choppy with nerves, unsure of what would pop up onthe screen.

“Yeah, here,” Xander said as he pointed to more information on the paper.

Xander was looking over my shoulder as the account was brought up on the screen. “Holy shit, Lanie, that’s insane.” There was over half a million dollars in an account without a name attached to it set up for me.

“I really don’t know what all of this means exactly. I’m even more confused than ever. Why now? Why didn’t he help me before now?” I wanted to believe my father was doing the right thing, that he genuinely was a good father. But he let too many bad things happen tome already.

All of a sudden, there was a sharp knock on Xander’s door.

“Lanie, are you in there?” It was Becca.

“Xander, I can’t see Becca right now. Look at me. I’m a mess. What am I going to do?”

Xander wentto the door.

“Hey, Becca, what’s up?” Xander asked while holding the door so she couldn’t see me.

“Have you seen Lanie? I wanted to know if she could be ready to leave a bit earlier. Heard traffic is getting bad.”

Xander looked my way, his eyes telling me he thought I should talk to her. I moved toward the door, wiping my eyes as I went.

“How do I look?”I mouthed to him before lettingher see me.

“You look beautiful, as always,” he whispered as he let the door fall open.

Becca came in like a ball of energy, obviously excited about the long weekend ahead. She froze, though, when shesaw my face.

I obviously did not look beautiful. I turned my betrayed eyes toward Xander, and he just shrugged.

“Lanie, what’s wrong?” Becca asked, concerned.

All I could do was look back and forth between the two people in my life who I trusted most. But at that moment, I had no words for her. Xander saw me struggling and came to my rescue.

“Becca, Lanie just got some crazy news from her parents. Her dad quit his job and they’re moving overseas. They did all of this without telling her, and she’s really upset right now.” Wow, he was quick. And none of it was even a lie. “She can be ready soon. Give her a few minutes, OK?”

“Sure, I’m still packing up some things. I’ll be in our room. How ’bout we leave in an hour, OK?”

I nodded as she hugged me before leaving the room. Once the door clicked into place, I spun on my heels toward Xander.

“Xander, that was perfect! I won’t have to lie to her now. Thank you.” Pulling him into my arms, I couldn’t help but be flooded with mixed emotions about our relationship, with the thought that it shouldn’t even be happening. Who would willingly walk into such a fucked-up situation? But when I looked at him, the determination on his face calmed my fears. He seemed committed, decisive in his actions. I needed to stop questioning him.

His look also held something else I was getting used to seeing: desire.

But then he pulled away, his hands cradling my cheeks. He stared into my eyes, the intensity palpable. He seemed like he was about to kiss me, but hesitated.

“I don’t want you to pull away. I want you to kiss me,” I almost begged.

He was looking at me with uncertainty in his eyes. The stress of our current situation, coupled with what happened last time, was enough for him to doubt this could happen.

I didn’t blame him.

But I felt like Icould do it.

I knew I could.

I needed to.

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