Page 37 of All My Firsts

I wasn’t sureI wouldn’t.

“We’re going to do that, OK, Lanie? Get him out of here for a few days, maybe talk some sense into him. We’ll leave tomorrow, probably stay there through the weekend, be back Sunday night.”

I just nodded. She looked at Xander next, who nodded at her as well. And then she walked outof the room.

Xander was still pacing, the anger rolling off him. He finally forced himself to stop moving as he bent over, hands on his knees. The deep breaths he was taking were calming him, and he lifted his eyes to find mine.

“I’m sorry I blew up at her, but she needs to understand that you’re my priority. I couldn’t give two shits about Logan.”

Again, I just nodded. I was kind of stunned by everything that happened. Xander came over to me on the couch.

I sat up straighter before I spoke to Xander. I’d had a few moments since Becca left to digest what she said. And I realized I felt bad for her, being caught inthe middle.

“I think she was wrong, but I also think she’s struggling to find a balance in her life right now. Her relationship with Ty is new, and now this drama going on between her best friend and his best friend ... well, I think she’s nervous it could pull them apart. Cut her some slack if you can. She really does mean well when it comes to me, and I’m sure Logan can be very convincing when he wants to be.”

“You’re much more understanding than I am.” Xander still looked upset, refusing to make eye contact, but I knew his anger was misplaced.

“It’s someone else you’re really madat, right?”

He jumped up from the couch, and I could see the muscles in his jaw twitching. He balled his fists as if inpreparation.

“You can’t fight him.” I walked to his side, wondering if being close would help. But it didn’t seem to do any good. “I won’t have you getting hurt or worse, in trouble, over me. We need to have a plan in place so we’re prepared for anything that could happen when it comes to him.”

I knew this time was going to come, that I was going to have to deal with Max here. I plopped onto the couch, almost in defeat, not sure what to do next. Xander came and sat next to me, leaning back in thought. I knew he was thinking about what to do, how to help me, and that was what scared me. I mean, I won’t lie, I never thought I would have support when dealing with Max, and it felt kind of good that I did. But at the same time, my stomach was in knots as I thought about how wrong it could go for us, for Xander. It was giving me mixed emotions. Max was ruthless, and I was petrified Xander would wind up getting hurt because of me.

“Well, I think I do have a plan. It’s not a great one, but at least it’ssomething.”

I looked over at him and his eyes were pinched together in worry, and that was exactly what I didn’t want. I hated that I’d brought this upon him. His life only weeks ago was much simpler, calmer, without the likes of me or Max trampling through it. I started to say as much when hestopped me.

“I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I want to be doing exactly what I’m doing. I want you here, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Don’t have that look of guilt on your face, like you wish you didn’t put me here. You’re an open book. Fate brought us together for a reason, Lanie, and I am pretty sure this is the start of it.”

Xander’s plan wasvery basic.

“I want you in my room. He won’t know to come here. But you’ll have to stay here the whole time. And since Becca won’t be here this weekend, your room will be empty, so that’s good.” He was pacing as he was talking. His nervous energy surrounded him, yet he was confident at the same time. Now that he had a plan, his mood had definitely shifted. “I’ll get us a bunch of food and snacks, and we’ll hang out and watch movies all weekend. It’ll be fun!”

His attempt at keeping this lighthearted was sweet. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t match hisenthusiasm.

“How do you feel about it?” Xander asked, looking hopeful. He calmed even more, now sitting on the other end of the couch.

“I guess OK. Maybe we could talk to some of our friends on the floor, some people we trust, and tell them what’s going on. Do you think they would lie for me? That way I could go out a bit on this side of the hall, at least a little.”

“Maybe, and I think it’s still OK to go out today. Your dad said he’s still at work, so I don’t think we would need to shut it down until tomorrow. And here’s the thing too: once he comes here, everyone’s going to know what you’re dealing with at home, you realize that, don’t you? I don’t expect him to keep it together while he’s here, do you?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not happy about the secret I’ve been trying to keep being shown to everyone here. But I don’t have a choice anymore, do I? Why not clue people in ahead of time? If it could help me and they’re going to learn about him anyway if he shows up, what’s the difference?” I couldn’t believe I was suggesting this, but it made sense, and it seemed like Xander agreed.

“Let me worry about that stuff. For now, go get some of your things from your room. You won’t be going in there for a few days. And clue Becca in on our plan before they leave. I guess it is a good thing they’re leaving.”

He held me in his arms for a moment before holding my face and looking into my eyes.

“We’ve got this, Lanie.” And he kissedmy forehead.

Becca wasn’t there when I went into our room, so I put a bag of essentials together. I made my way back to Xander’s room and knocked. When he opened the door, I couldn’t see him, but I heard his laugh.

“Are you moving in for the month? What the hell did you grab?”

Did he not know what was required to be a woman? And I was a no-nonsense girl. He had no idea what would be coming in here if he had Becca moving in for a few days. He took a few things from my hands, and I dropped the rest in a cornerof his room.

“So, where am I going to pee this whole weekend? We didn’t think about that, did we?” I stood with my hands on my hips, hoping for a logicalresolution.

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