Page 89 of A Lesson In Beginning

“No, it’s just a hard time of year to be away from family, I suppose.” There was truth in my words, though it definitely wasn’t the real reason I was so dejected.

“Wait, don’t you live with your sister? Seems like you’re surrounded by family to me.” She shrugged in her innocent, childlike way.

“I suppose that’s true. But sometimes I miss the life I once had. Maybe not completely, or in all its forms, but there is still a longing for the past, I suppose.”

“Ah. Hiraeth.”

“God bless you.”

“No, silly goose! I didn’t sneeze. Hiraeth. It means missing a home you cannot return to.”

“I’ve never heard that word before.”

“Here, look.” She held her wrist up, showing the word tattooed along her inner wrist.

“That’s beautiful, Trixie.”

“I understand that feeling, too. And the good and bad that feeling brings.” Her tone had shifted, her playful demeanor changing to the tone of the adult she truly was for a moment. “Sometimes the life we miss wasn’t good for us. We know that. But it doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes miss it, or parts of it.”

I stared at her in wonder, her insight completely surprising me. And just like a flash, her bubbly, childlike self was back, and she was bouncing over to do the dishes.

“Perhaps you are right, Trixie.”

“I tend to be. Or at least, that’s what I tell Daddy.” She giggled, turning the water on to fill the sink basin with sudsy water. “Plus, I still think your problem is that you miss Joelsky. But you don’t have to miss him anymore.”

She shot me a wink, her words and actions only confusing me further.

“What do you mean?”

“Joel’s here tonight, obviously.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as though I were utterly ridiculous.

“Wait, what do you mean, Joel is here tonight?”

“I mean he’s here. At the club. Tonight. Duh.”

“That can’t be true. Joel is away, visiting his family for the holidays. He doesn’t return for three more days. You must be mistaken.”

“Um, no I’m not. I saw him when I was walking back from the roof after my break, not an hour ago. He was up in the offices, talking with Malachi. Honestly, that man is scary. I kinda like it, that scary mountain man vibe he has going on. But don’t you dare tell Daddy.” She held up her finger in warning, worried I would tattle on her. Of course, I never would, but my thoughts were stuck on the fact that Joel was apparently right upstairs, and not half a continent away in Kansas City as I had thought.

Frozen and unable to move, I barely noticed the sound of the door opening from the hallway.

“Joelsky! We were just talking about you!” Trixie called excitedly, not even bothering to dry her hands off before bounding up to him. I heard him grunt behind me as Trixie slammed into him with a hug, where I could not see. I didn’t think I had the strength to turn around.

“Hey there, Trixie. How was work this evening?” The sound of his voice lanced straight through me like a knife, cutting me to the quick. I glanced up at the clock, barely having noticed that the club was now closing. The last of the patrons would be filing out of the building soon, if they hadn’t already. There were always a few stragglers, though.

“Work was great! Your little lady here made the most delicious mini chocolate cupcakes. They were chocolate, and they had regular chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, and a chocolate ganache on top. Daddy would only let me have one, but I snuck a second one without him seeing. Shush, though. Don’t tell him. I’d get in trouble.”

“Trixie, you shouldn’t lie to your Dominant like that. You know better. You tell him soon, or I’ll tell him for you. Are there any left?”

“No. They went fast. Like… really fast. Like lightning. But I’m sure your lady will make you more if you just ask. Won’t you, Adah?”

I stood there frozen, unmoving, ignoring the question I knew I should answer.

“Trixie, would you mind finishing up in here for the night? I need to speak with Adah.”

“Oh. Um, yeah. I can do that.” Trixie walked back towards me, leaning in to whisper as she passed. “Sounds like someone’s in trouble. Good luck, doll.” She squeezed my arm before returning to finish up the dishes. I had already put most of the food away and cleaned up my work space.

“Adah, would you join me upstairs, please?” While Trixie may have thought he was angry with me, or that I was in trouble, I knew Joel better than that. He wasn’t angry. He was in control.

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