Page 9 of Pretty Black

“I think it’s a good thing I don’t know that, but now I’m wondering why you do.” I squinted at him, holding my hand up to get the light out of my eyes. “How much did you spend on this place, and you don’t have blackout curtains?”

“It never occurred to me.”

“Do you not sleep past”—I looked at my watch—“Six-o-seven A.M. ever?”

“We aren’t ever here, and when we are, you know how it goes. I need to do it and then I forget because we aren’t here for months again.” As the sun rose, getting out of my eyes, he finally came into focus. His red eyes were rimmed with sorrow.

I’d almost forgotten what yesterday was and the existence we were stuck in. I pulled inward, instantly guilty for what I’d put him through.

“What happened?” Caspian whispered, brushing his fingers over my cheek.

“I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes because I couldn’t stand to see more of the pain I’d already caused, and I wasn’t even dead yet.

“Don’t do that.” His fingers brushed over my lips.

“What?” I asked, pressing kisses to his fingertips.

“Pull back.” His fingers slipped around the back of my neck, drawing me closer.

“It’s easier.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know,” I said, not sure how else to answer. “It will be easier in the long run.”

“No, it won’t. I’ll miss the time with you.” His lips hovered over mine, hot breath making me open my eyes.

“Even if it hurts more in the end?” I asked, craving the closeness.

“Would you have it any other way with your brother?”

I shook my head. “No, I would have held on longer and tighter.”

“I thought so.” He connected our lips, drinking me in.

“I’m going to hurt you.”

“Then at least I will have had the pleasure of loving you, if even for a little while.” He rubbed his thumb under my ear. “I’m tired of fighting it.”

“I’m tired of fighting it, too.” I brushed my lips over his, eliminating all the space between us.

“It’s exhausting to deny this all the time.” Caspian’s grip on me tightened like I was still at risk of slipping through his fingers.

And maybe I was.

I’d always been a little too fleeting and a little too unstable for most people.

“It’s exhausting to fight all the time.”

“It is. Could you cut that out?”

I rolled my eyes while slipping my tongue between his lips. “Sure, since it’s all me.”

“I wish I had that recorded, you finally admitting to it.” His other hand abandoned my belt loop and grabbed the other side of my face, deepening the kiss.

“I don’t know how many times I can roll my eyes in one make-out session before it’s considered impolite.”

He laughed, shutting me up with his lips.

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