It takes me a few minutes to work up the courage. Once I finally decide to stand up from my desk, a few more minutes pass before I muster the nerve to raise my fist and knock.
The sound of his voice telling me to come in has me freezing in my spot for a moment. Finally, I push the door open.
He is seated at his desk and does a double take upon my entrance. The look on his face tells me that something is up. He looks uncomfortable, and I can’t even begin to imagine what I could have possibly done to elicit this type of reaction from him.
“Yes?” he says, struggling to get that single word out.
“I just wanted to see if there was anything you need me to do. I have all your meetings scheduled and have replied to all the emails,” I explain, wondering if I should have stayed at my desk. Doing nothing all day can’t be that bad. It can’t be any worse than standing in Jared’s office right now.
“No, I don’t have anything for you,” Jared says, clearing his throat in the middle of his sentence to hide the obvious discomfort in his voice. He isn’t looking at me but keeps his eyes focused on the computer screen.
Maybe I should leave it be. Whatever it is, it will probably blow over in the next few days. But the curiosity of what is causing this reaction wins out.
“Did I do something?” I finally ask, crossing my arms over my chest in a defensive gesture.
He finally looks at me but doesn’t seem able to make eye contact.
“No. Why would you think that?” he asks unconvincingly.
“I don’t know. You’ve been acting weird since dinner yesterday,” I push, noticing him squirm in is seat.
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed.” He tries to shrug, but his tense shoulders make it look unnatural.
“Jared, come on. What is it?” I ask again, sensing that if I push harder, he'll break.
His eyes linger on me for only a second before fluttering away to look past me.
“Jared, come on,” I urge again, waiting in anticipation for his response.
“I saw you,” he says, his shoulders dropping as he exhales heavily.
I stand there with furrowed brows. “What? When?”
His hand reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck as he stands from his desk. He moves around to the front of it, leaning against it and looking straight at me.
“When we got back from the meeting, I came to your room to see you. I knocked, but you didn’t respond. Your bedroom door was open, and that’s when I saw you.” His eyes are a pool of darkness, looking at me as if he will swallow me whole.
My heart is thumping loudly in my chest, so loud that I’m sure he hears it. Jared, my boss, watched me masturbating.
Instead of embarrassment, I feel heat spread through me in a wave.
Shouldn’t I be furious? Maybe I should shout at him? Why did he come into my room? Why not just text me? Why did he watch?
And what did he think as he watched me?
“I shouldn’t have come looking for you,” he says slowly, still watching me as a tiger would his prey. Then he adds quietly, “But I’m not sorry.”
“It’s embarrassing,” I mutter weakly.
“You looked beautiful,” he growls, pushing himself off his desk as he moves closer.
My mouth dries at his words and his proximity.
“Oh,” is all I can say, lifting my gaze up to his in an effort to not cower away.
He stares at me with dark eyes. This is wrong on so many levels, but I can’t stop the desire rising in my body.
He moves even closer, as he leans down and whispers, “I really enjoyed the sight of you.”