Page 82 of Payne's Envy

A shadow passed over the hot springs. When I looked up, I saw the massive creature through the fluffy leaves. The trees were enormous, but that beast was bigger than the last batch of Harvest’s dragons.

Oh, Hades.

He was almost as big as Payne.

“I smell you, female.”

My heart raced.

I didn’t like that I could hear him in my head. All I wanted to hear was Payne.

I started shaking him. “Payne! Wake up.”

Nothing. His head didn’t move as I jerked at his shoulders. His control over that stiff posture was absolute.

The crack of branches filled my ears, then the beast from above roared. Pink and purple leaves fell around me as the dragon came into view through the trees.

I faded with Payne.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Payne

The next version of me was still skinny, but much taller. While I had a youthful appearance, he was almost the same height as me when I approached. So, a teenager?

He had his hand pressed against his chest, panting.

“What’s wrong with us?” I asked.

When I locked eyes with him, more memories hit me all at once. Years go by in my head within seconds. The same little girl I adored kept growing as I did. She had aged, but not enough.

As I got older, it became harder to ignore what I’d always felt.

The teenage version of me covered his eyes and sighed. “She’s so beautiful.”

I knew he spoke of Joy. She was the only person I ever thought about.

“I know what my feelings are becoming,” he whispered. “I understand now. Maybe her brothers are right to be cautious of me. I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Feeling this way is normal, and waiting is the right decision.You’re getting older,” I tried to assure myself.

His shoulders drooped. “I can wait. I will, but it’s hard.”

“You can do it.”

He nodded. “I know.” When he looked at me again, he asked, “But Sebastian keeps bringing girls to the castle and asking strange questions. I pretend to be interested in them and go along with him, but sometimes Joy sees and…”

A sharp pain sliced into my chest. I knew what would happen to me soon. What a mistake I’d make. I couldn’t change it. Joy was supposed to be our only. Instead, I got too drunk and woke up with someone who wasn’t Joy.

Rage bubbled inside my stomach. The image of Sebastian inside my head only made it worse. A part of me couldn’t forgive him. I understood how much he wanted to protect his family. He just never understood how much I loved his sister. What turmoil he put me through by pushing women at me all the time until I finally made a mistake I couldn’t take back.

But…

It was stillmymistake thinking I had to prove or hide my feelings about Joy from her brothers.

“You shouldn’t have done what you did. I know how much you loved her because I am you. When Sebastian tested you back then, you should have admitted what you felt instead of pretending. You hurt Joy.”

Teenage me sniffed and nodded. “It always feels wrong to hide what I feel, but it’s the only thing I know to do.”

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