Page 34 of Tarnished Queen

Even as he made the threat, I didn’t really believe it. I couldn’t. Nikolai is a cold, calculating Bratva don to his core, but he isn’t cruel. Not unnecessarily, anyway. And letting a child suffer because of my mistake would be heartlessly, needlessly cruel.

The fact that he chased her down and brought her back to me proves me right. I take a small amount of pride in knowing him so well. In seeing at least one thread of gold running through his black, shriveled-up heart.

I wrap my arms around Elise again, dragging her against me in a bone-crushing hug. “Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“It’s notallthat matters. I want to know what happened to you. And what happened with—” Her words drop off suddenly and her eyes widen.

“With Xena?” I ask pointedly, giving her a small smile so she knows it’s okay. “The story is out. Everyone knows what happened.”

Nikolai knows what happened, is what I mean.

“Yeah,” she rasps. “With that.”

“Xena lied to me,” I tell her. “She tricked me, and I was… I was so stupid. I’m sorry I put you in that situation.” More tears clog my throat, but for Elise’s sake, I try to swallow them down. “I’ve put you in so much danger the last couple months.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know any of this would happen.”

“I don’t even know if that’s true,” I murmur. “I should have gotten us out of here the second we arrived in New York. When we saw that skeezy hotel room. No, before then—when Roger called and said he was in fucking Aruba.”

Sure, leaving then would mean not knowing Nikolai and not being pregnant. I can't really bring myself to wish that was true. But for Elise's sake, I should have left.

Elise snorts. “Fuck Roger.”

“Hey! Language,” I warn.

“You said it first.”

“I’m older. It’s allowed.” I smooth her hair back from her face. There’s a smudge of dirt on her forehead, so I lick my thumb and wipe it off. “I’m supposed to take care of you. I’m supposed to make the tough decisions to keep you safe.”

“I’m old enough to take care of myself. I mean, look at me—I did okay today, didn’t I?”

“I don’t even know what happened after you left the car,” I say, realizing it all at once. “Where did you go?”

“Well, first, I went to a diner and drank some terrible coffee while I tried to come up with a plan. And then this woman at the counter tried to call the police for me because she could tell something was wrong, but I talked her off of that ledge. Then she told me about a shelter I could go to. It was getting late in the afternoon and I didn’t have another plan, so I went there. That’s when Nikolai found me the first time.”

My eyes bug out. “The first time? Earlier today?”

She nods. “Just after dark. He showed up at the shelter and I didn’t know what he wanted, so I ran.”

When Nikolai came into my room earlier, he’d just come from looking for Elise.

I just like to decompress after I kill someone, he said.A Battiato soldier. He attacked me.

He'd killed someone while trying to find Elise.

The realization that Xena had people looking for Elise makes my blood run cold. And the fact that I was tearing at Nikolai, giving myself over to lust and pleasure while Elise was in danger… nauseating. Shame burns through me like a fever.

“After that, I was floating around from a park to a bus stop to a public restroom. I was trying to blend in and not get too comfortable in case Nikolai showed up again. But I fell asleep on a bench, and he found me.”

My heart squeezes and my words come out strangled. “You were sleeping on a bench?”

“Yeah. And I woke up to Nikolai shaking me. As soon as I opened my eyes, I threw a punch. Or, I tried. He dodged it and then I grabbed the brick I’d been carrying for protection and hurled it at him. But his head is surprisingly thick.”

I snort. “You can say that again.”

In the doorway, Nikolai chuckles.

“He told me that you were safe and back at the house,” Elise continues, “but I saw Xena’s car on the news. It was totaled so bad, Belle. And then there were those dead EMTs. I didn’t know—I thought maybe… I thought he was lying and you were dead.”

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