Page 33 of Tarnished Queen

I’m the reason my best friend is dead.

I can’t blame Belle for that. I can only blame myself.

“No, I’m not mad at you.”

She looks uncertain. “You said earlier you didn’t know what you were going to do with me… Have you figured it out?”

I pull on my shirt and back towards the door. “Yeah, I think I have.”

On my way out, I hear Belle ask what I mean. But I close the door and keep moving.

She’ll find out soon enough.

11

BELLE

I dream of him. All night, every second, I dream of him.

I toss and turn in bed, and Nikolai is there with me. I can still feel him inside and out. The heat of his hands over my skin, the rush of his breath against my neck.

Then the dreams shift into nightmares. I feel him pulling away. He leaves in a hurry, rushing away from me, darting just out of reach.

When the door to my bedroom opens, I bolt upright in bed. I’m still dazed. Sleep clings to me like a fine glitter I can’t shake. But still, I know enough to hope.

“Nikolai?” I blink against the darkness. Even when I see the small, thin figure in front of me that can’t possibly be him, I’m convinced it’s Nikolai. “You came back. I didn’t know if—”

“Belle.”

The moment I hear my name—the moment I hear my sister’s shaky, tentative voice drenched in fear—I jump out of bed.

I’m across the room with my arms around her before I can even process what is happening.

“Are you real?” I gasp, tugging at the ends of her strawberry blonde hair and squeezing her to my chest until I can feel her heart beating against my rib cage. “Are you really here?”

Elise laughs softly. “Yeah. And I’m glad you are, too. I wasn’t sure you'd be here.”

“You fought like you were sure she wasn't.” Nikolai’s voice draws my eyes. He’s leaning against the doorframe observing us. “You almost took out my eye with that brick.”

“Brick?” I hold Elise at arm’s length, studying her for any injuries.

“I threw a brick at him,” she explains. “He was chasing me.”

“Because you were running,” Nikolai argues.

“It’s a chicken-and-egg kind of situation,” she says with a shrug.

She doesn’t look hurt. Her hair is stringy and she smells like sweat and smoke. But she’s in one piece. And she’s here.Thank God.

Tears blur my vision. I try and fail to blink them away. “I can’t believe you’re here. I wanted to find you. It was all I wanted.”

“Don’t cry, B.” Elise swipes at my cheeks tenderly. For a minute, it’s hard to remember which of us is the older sibling.

“You were supposed to find Nikolai,” I scold. “When I told you to get out of the car, I told you to find him. Why didn’t you?”

Elise lowers her chin. “I didn’t know if I could trust him. Everything was happening so fast.”

I’m not sure what to say to that. I want to believe Nikolai is trustworthy. He found Elise for me, after all. But he also told me he’d let her die as revenge for Arslan’s death.

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