As soon as the words are out of her mouth, I notice the tears shining in her eyes. Her chin wobbles for just a second. Just long enough for me to see the pain shimmering through her usually calm, stoic facade.
“Oh, honey,” I whisper, pulling her in for a hug. “I’m okay. I made Xena crash the car so I could escape.”
She lifts her chin proudly. “I’m just glad we’re together again.”
I smooth my thumb over her cheek. “And we always will be. From now on, my only priority is taking care of you and keeping you safe.”
“How are you going to do that?”
I take a deep breath. “First things first, I need to get us both out of this city. We need to start over somewhere safe.”
“Can we do that?” Elise asks softly.
Before I can answer, I hear Nikolai clear his voice from the doorway. When I look up, his expression is unreadable.
“You need to go take a shower and get to sleep, Elise. You’ve had a busy day,” he says.
Elise opens her mouth to argue, but I squeeze her hand. “He’s right. We’ll talk more in the morning. Go rest.”
I expect her to fight with me, but instead, she nods. I can see the exhaustion written in her face and in the slope of her shoulders. It’s the only time in my life I’ve seen Elise too tired to have an attitude.
She gives me one final hug and then slips out of my room and into the hallway.
The moment she’s gone, Nikolai closes the door and moves towards me.
“Thank you,” I say, reaching for him. “Thank you for finding her and bringing her to me. I can’t—I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
Just before I can touch him, he steps back. “I have an idea where you could start.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You want to repay me,” he repeats. “And I have an idea.”
The warmth from our interaction only a few hours ago is gone. His posture is stiff and he’s looking down at me like I’m a problem he’s trying to solve. A shiver moves down my spine as I gaze up at him.
“Well, I don’t… That’s just an expression. I think you and I are even, Nikolai. We’ve each caused each other plenty of trouble, don't you think?"
He arches a brow. “Someone has changed their tune. Now that your sister’s back, I guess you aren’t so desperate.”
“Or maybe being locked in this room has given me plenty of time to think about all the shit you’ve put me through,” I snap.
“Oh, and I really heard you complaining about your circumstances when I was balls deep inside of you.” He stalks towards me, his voice a low, rumbly growl. “Or maybe that was all an act, too? Maybe you were whoring yourself out to try and get what you want.”
I flex my hand. The desire to smack him across the face is strong, and I barely resist. “Unlike you, I’m not very good at twisting love into a tool I can wield. When I sleep with someone, it’s because I have genuine feelings for them.”
I tried it earlier, using sex to manipulate him. But the moment we were touching, everything else faded away. I can’t not mean it. I don’t know how.
“What about when you lie to someone? What does that mean to you?”
I grind my teeth together until my head hurts. Nikolai tips his head to the side, waiting for my answer.
“Well?” he prods. “You let me fuck you on my desk after you tried to escape with the help of Xena the first time—what should I make of that? Do you only lie to people you have feelings for?”
“I didn’t lie to you because I didn’t have feelings for you,” I say. “I told you before, it was because Elise has to be my priority. I had to protect her, no matter what I felt for you.”
If I expect my words to break through Nikolai’s tough exterior, I’m sorely disappointed. He just stares back at me with flat gray eyes. “Well, you did manage to escape, and your sister ended up sleeping on a public park bench. Seems like your priorities might be out of order.”
The image of Elise sleeping out in the open, vulnerable to anyone walking by, is too much to consider. I squeeze my eyes closed to shove away the thought of what could have happened to her if anyone aside from Nikolai had found her.