Page 32 of Dirty Love

Fuck, what if he’d have walked in on us just now?

The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

He moves his eyes over my outfit and sneers, flexing his hand like he’s about to hit me for it, but then Kade spins me out of the way and steps closer to him, his chest bumping Dad’s when he continues to come for me.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Kade growls, roughly shoving him back by his shoulders.

Dad shoves him just as hard and I scrape a fingernail over my wrist, struggling to ignore the inner demon that begs me to cut, cut, cut.

I just need to let it out.

It hates me as much as I hate myself and I need it—

“Nicky, stop.”

I jump and look up at Kade, discreetly hiding my arms behind my back when I notice Dad’s attention on my scars. I’m sure he already knows they’re there, but he’s never looked twice or tried to confront me about it. He doesn’t believe in mental health issues, same way he doesn’t believe in the act of being gay. He was just as indifferent with our mom and her depression, and I’d be stupid to believe he’d cut me any type of slack for mine.

Bouncing his evil eyes between me and my protector, he laughs cruelly and lifts his hands up in mock defeat. But we all know if this was three years ago, Kade would be on the floor by now and Dad would be on top of him.

“Elle left her bracelet here,” he says by way of explanation, looking directly at me as he moves for the bedroom across the hall. “Take that off and wear your own fucking clothes, you scrawny little pussy.”

I flinch before I can stop it and Kade closes his eyes for a second, locking his jaw while he waits for him to leave us alone. As soon as he’s gone, he turns to face me fully and takes my waist with both hands, backing me up into his room to shut the door behind us. I wrap my arms around his head and bury my face into the crook of his neck, not missing the way his pulse is hammering beneath my lips.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, but he just digs his fingers into the shirt I’m wearing and holds me even tighter, keeping his back pressed against the door to ensure Dad can’t get in here without breaking it down.

A few seconds go by and we listen for the footsteps in the hall, then on the stairs, relaxing as one when we hear the front door slamming with his exit.

“I hate him, Kade.”

“I know, baby,” he says quietly, lifting one of his hands to run it through my hair, clearly trying to distract me. “What do you wanna do tonight?”

“Nothing.”

“No?” he asks, his mouth curling into a smile against my temple. “What if I take you to get fucked up at the cabin?”

I pull back at that, grinning at the thought of spending the night there with him. “Really?”

CHAPTER 14

NICKY

“Who the fuck invited her?” I mutter, half flicking my wrist at the kitchen window, leaning my elbows on the huge wooden island in the middle of the room.

“Mark, probably,” Kade answers, keeping his back to me while he restocks the fridge with alcohol. “He told all the girls to come, Nicky. Not just her.”

I make a noise and rest my cheek on my fist, feeling awfully sorry for myself while I watch Arianna and her friends climb out of the car outside.

I thought he meant we’d be alone when he asked me to come this morning, but then he called Skully to get us some drugs and Skully told Mark, then Mark told everyone. Now the cabin is full of people we go to school with, some already drunk and half naked in the ten person hot tub on the back deck.

This place used to belong to our mom’s parents, and even though they kicked her out when she got pregnant with me—because having a baby out of wedlock was against their religion or whatever—it was still left to her when her mother died six years ago.

The house is a huge, two story building sitting at the bottom of a steep mountain covered in snow, right on the edge of the lake we used to swim in every summer. Our dad wouldn’t let us come up here anymore after Mom was killed, so Kade stole his keys a couple years ago and had one cut for us while he was asleep. We don’t use it much out of fear of getting caught, but Dad won’t be back until Monday afternoon and there’s no way he’ll find out unless we tell him.

Arianna walks through the front door in a pair of six inch heels, wearing a white fluffy coat that makes her look like a snowball, and I look away, rolling my eyes when I catch Kade’s amused ones on me.

“Why you in a mood?”

“I’m not in a mood,” I lie, reaching for my beer on the counter in front of him, gritting my teeth when he takes it first and holds it hostage between his palms.

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