Page 102 of Still Here Without You

My eyes flash to Dylan’s in confusion until I see his eyes on Del’s message, and his meaning sinks in. I shake my head in answer.No.

“You need to talk to her.”

“I know. I just need to do it in a way that she believes me.”

Summer’s eyes bounce between mine and Dylan’s in confusion. “What am I missing?”

“I—”

“I love you, Sum. But I think Joel needs to talk to Delilah first.”

My eyes widen at his words. He’s right. I’ve just got to figure out how.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Delilah

WhenIfinishtypingout my latest email to Joel, I curl up on the couch and stare into space with my heart on the floor. After almost telling Joel everything last night, I needed to get it off my chest. Especially after seeing him with that little boy. I thought going for a run would clear my head. That the fresh air would help. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. Seeing Joel with that boy on his shoulders was like a sucker punch to the gut. It tore apart the last remaining shred of my soul, while confirming once and for all that I made the right choice. If we continued on the path we were on, it would only ruin both our lives, with neither of us getting our happily ever after. Doesn’t mean it was easy. Watching him break was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. And I never want to go through that again.

The next few days pass in a blur of classes, cheer practice, and sleep. I’m once again back to the same shell of a woman I was in Paris—simply existing through life without actually enjoying it. Although, I will admit that one person has been keeping me from completely losing my mind.

Marky Mark: Can I take you out? Buy you ice cream? Sing?

The mention of singing makes me want to puke, but that’s not his fault. Eli is really trying. Between him and my mom, I’m well looked after.

Delilah: You’ve already given me enough ice cream to sink a ship, and I’m not really up to going out. But, thank you

Marky Mark: Okay, but I’m coming over later tonight with a movie and popcorn. We both know your mom will let me in, even if you don’t

I laugh because he’s right. Those two have been ganging up on me for weeks. I text him an “okay” as I throw my bag in the car and head to campus for class. I’m early, so the room is still clearing out from the previous session. Sneaking in, I move toward the back of the room and stop, instantly turning around and walking back out again. As if seeing Joel and Liam together wasn’t painful enough, I almost walk headfirst into what looks like a pretty intimate conversation between Joel and a stunning pink-haired girl. Dashing across the hall, I duck into the nearest bathroom and take a deep breath, reminding myself that Joel moving on is exactly what I want to happen. And even if this particular girl isn’t the girl he starts dating, it’s still going to happen eventually. Palms on the bathroom cabinet, I stare at my reflection and will myself to leave the room as a sharp pang rips through my stomach. Shaking out my thoughts, I wash my hands.This doesn’t affect me. His life no longer affects me. I’m fine. At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I push through the bathroom door and run straight into him.Of course, that would happen.

Joel steadies me as I stumble. “Del?” he croaks out, clearly not expecting to see me.

I huff out a breath and step back before wincing. I definitely twisted my ankle or something, but I’m not about to bring attention to it. Joel’s looking at me curiously, and I realize I haven’t responded. “Hi, Joel.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, his eyes moving to my foot.So much for hiding my pain.

“I’m fine.” I say, trying to appear unaffected. “What brings you over to this side of campus? Aren’t most of your classes near the science building?”What? The last time we spoke I was telling him goodbye, and now I’m casually asking about classes?

Joel’s brows furrow, but he answers anyway. “Yeah, they are. A friend left something at my place, so I was dropping it off.”

My stomach sinks. Well, that’s the confirmation I did not need right now. I smile politely and then pull out my phone. Checking the time, I pray that class is about to start so that I can excuse myself before I ask him about her. I have eight minutes to spare, but he doesn’t know where my class is.

“I’ve gotta get to class, but it was nice seeing you.”

“Isn’t your class right behind me?” He points his thumb over his head, and then the strangest thing happens. The confident Joel disappears, and a hint of insecurity flashes across his face. I’m confused until I replay what he said. He knew that was my class. Heknewthere was a chance he’d see me. Does that mean he was trying to make me jealous? Or hoping to run into me? My brows pucker as I look at him curiously.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I guess I’m busted,” he says with an unsure smile.

“Busted doing what, exactly?”

“I wasn’t lying about returning something to a friend, but it wasn’t urgent. I…um…fuck, I’m just going to say it.” He runs his hand through his short hair and winces. “I found some of your classes by chance and have been finding excuses to be around, in the hope of running into you.”

That pulls me up short.He’s here for me, not her.

“How many times have you tried to run into me?”

“I’d rather not answer that.”

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