Page 103 of Still Here Without You

I laugh because I’m not really sure what else to do. I shouldn’t be happy about that. We’re meant to be over, no longer even friends. He’s meant to move on. Yet, I’m smiling.

“Was there a purpose to this run-in?” I ask.

Joel sighs. “I needed to check in on you. After everything that happened between us, I couldn’t walk away without knowing you were okay.”

I’m confused by his meaning. “But if I am okay, you can? Walk away I mean.”

Joel’s face turns serious. “Only if I believe it.”

I sigh and my shoulders deflate. If he did ask me how I was—how I really was—I have no doubt that he’d see right through the fake answer I’ve been giving anyone who asks.

“And if I’m not okay?” I ask, instead of answering.

“Then I’ll prove to you I can be your friend. I heard yourmessageloud and clear, Del. You don’t…you don’t feel that way anymore, and I’ll respect that, but you can’t expect me to stop being your friend. Especially if you’re hurting.”

When the hallway gets busy with people rushing to class, our time comes to an end, and I have mixed feelings about that. Smiling apologetically, I say goodbye and walk away, without giving Joel a response. I’m almost through the door when he calls out behind me, causing my steps to falter.

“Your silence just answered my question, Del, and I’m here if you ever need to talk. Always.”

My heart beats out of my chest as I take a deep breath, trying to stop myself from falling apart. Without turning around, I look over my shoulder with a smile and a nod, acknowledging his words, but unable to respond right now.Why does this have to be so hard?

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Joel

I“runinto”Delilaha few times over the next month, and each time, we partake in surface level conversation. How was your day? How did your finals go? I heard Dylan’s going pro, etc. etc. Nothing of depth. And I’m okay with that. I’m here for the long haul. To prove to her that I’m not going anywhere, despite what she may think. Although, I had hoped that I’d have found a way to progress our friendship a bit by now. It’s been over a week since I last saw her, and if I’m being honest, it has me a little on edge. This weekend’s going to be an emotional one, and I'd feel better having her next to me, even if it’s only as a friend. Dylan made it to the big leagues. He’s going to be a pro football player. In Denver. We have a perfectly good football team in San Fran, but no, he’s going to Denver. We’ve finally graduated and now it’s time for him to leave.

Huffing out a breath, I walk in the door after spending the afternoon with my parents and hear Dylan and Summer’s whispers from his room. Actually, I suppose it’s her room now, since she’s moving in and keeping me company. Leaving them be, I move to my bedroom and fall face-first onto the bed. I joke about it all the time, but I’m not ready for my best friend to be moving away. I’m so fucking proud of him, but he’s like my brother…in fact, heisfamily, and fuck, I’m sad. I groan out loud as I squeeze my ears between my arms, my face still buried in the comforter. I don’t want to cry, but I’m pretty sure the tears are going to come, no matter how hard I try to stop them.

“Something got you down?” A whisper sounds from above me.

What the fuck?

My head shoots up, my eyes seeking out the voice. Delilah’s voice. “What…hi?” I sigh and then smile before rolling over and sitting up. Seeing her instantly calms me. My growing panic at having my best friend no longer by my side dissipates. With Del, I can get through it. “Not that I’m not happy to see you…but what are you doing here?”

She leans forward and presses her palms on the bed before whispering, “I’m hiding?”

“You’re hiding!” I say out loud, and she shushes me. “You’re hiding?” I repeat in a whisper.

She nods with a nervous look on her face, and I have to bite back a smile.

“Wait? Were you in here when I walked in? What are you hiding from?”

She nods, as she holds up a finger, asking me to wait. I do as I’m told, but I’m not sure why—

“I made a mistake, I can’t…”

“Dylan, it’s going to be okay.” Our friends’ voices come from the hall.

Oh, that’s what she’s hiding from. Jumping up from the bed, I grab Delilah’s hand and pull her through the house and out the front door, collecting Summer’s apartment keys on the way. “I’m assuming they’ve roped you into helping. So let’s get the last of Summer’s things and give them some time to talk.”

We arrive at Summer and Cory’s apartment fifteen minutes later in two separate vehicles because Delilah insisted she drive her car as well, in case we needed extra room. I’m sure it had more to do with us being alone in a small space, but I let it slide. Once inside, we split up in search of boxes with Summer’s name on them. There are still a fair number of them lying around, but it will all fit in Dylan’s unnecessarily large truck. I’m stacking two boxes on top of each other when Delilah calls out.

“A little help, please.”

Following the sound of her voice, I find her trying to lift a box that looks small, but I’m going to guess is deceptively heavy.

“Books?” I ask as I join her.

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