Page 8 of See No Evil

“Huh?!”

“Not you, English. Your husband. How much you gone pay me, man?”

Axel swallowed, his eyes widening.

“Pay you for what, Axel? What are you two up to?”

“English, you don’t know this little secret about Legend, but he was born with a spatula in his hand. When we were kids, we would sneak over his mama’s house when she was at work, whenwe were supposed to be at school, and he would take out frozen fries, ground beef, all kinds of food, and turn it into something AMAZING!”

English spun around toward him, a smirk on her face and one brow raised.

“Really, Legend?! Wow! Now isn’t this a wonderful surprise.”

“Not really…”

“So, I asked him to help save us today, and just barbecue a few things.”

“A few things? Forty people… Four. Zero!”

“Can you do sides, too? I can chop up some onions and celery, Legend. I have some baked beans and—”

“English, not you, too! I thought you’d be on my side!”

“Melanie is running late, as usual. I can call her right now and have her swing by the store to get anything else you might need.”

“Tell her to pick up a chef, a new best friend, and a sister-in-law for me. Aisle six in Kroger.”

“I’ll let the guests know there’s a change of plans!” She squealed happily before skipping back out of the house.

Legend wanted to choke Axel out. “How much?!”

“How much do you want, Legend?”

“Don’t try to sound all righteous and indignant, like howdareI want compensation for this fuckery you done pulled. Just so happens, I’ve had my eye on a couple of fits.”

“Okay, I’ll give you the money for the clothes.”

“And not no shit from Kohl’s, Walmart, or Target, either. I also want two days off next week. Paid!”

“Two days?! You know I can’t do that, Legend!”

“Take it or leave it. Burger King is right down the mothafuckin’ street, and they said I can have itmyway.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

“You and English so busy worried ’bout tryna impress folks and keep up with the Joneses after this major culinary disaster, you’re lucky that’sallI want. Here I am, dressed fresh, lookin’ good, and you ’bout to put me over two hot ass grills, and whipping up sides in this kitchen that normally take hours in advance to prep. At the end of today, I’m going to be ten pounds lighter due to this heat from the sun and grill, and smelling like a big ass sautéed onion. What woman you know wants to give some sloppy top to a man who smells like a White Castle cheeseburger? You tryna make a miracle out of a mistake, and I—”

“All right! Fine. Two paid days off, and two new outfits.”

“Cool. Y’all got a bag of onions and a couple bags of potatoes up in this bitch?”

“Yes.”

“I need at least three jars of mayonnaise, man. Four cartons of eggs. Buns. Get all the baked bean cans you have in here.” Axel quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pen. “I need brown sugar. White sugar. Cinnamon. Any BBQ sauce you have, a lot of it. Mustard. Ketchup. Garlic and onion powder are a must. I need every damn seasonin’ y’all got in this mothafucka. Go down to that deep freezer and bring me the burgers, sausages, hot dogs, steak, easy shit that’ll cook fast. It’s too late to make ribs since we need this done right away, but I can work with what I mentioned. Anything you don’t have, get English to call my sister, and she’ll get it.”

“Got it.” Axel jotted everything down.

“Get them grills fired up immediately, and that catering crew out of my way. Send ’em home. Are we good?”

---