Page 7 of See No Evil

He burst out laughing and kept it moving, ready to tell Axel adios, kiss his godson, give English a hug, and ride down the street to Burger King to pick up a flame-broiled Whopper. As he entered the house, English burst past him.

“Attention, everyone!” She clapped her hands, and the music suddenly stopped.Thank God.“I am so sorry about the quality of the food. I’m sure y’all noticed it’s not that great.”

“It shole ain’t! Dis some bullshit!” someone yelled out. “Drove all this way to eat from the garbage can. You know I can’t travel far! My legs swell up!”

“I know, Aunt Ruthie… Uh, I’ve spoken to the caterers, and we’ll work out that situation privately, but we’re going to order pizzas, okay? I know it’s not the dinner banquet I promised you, but it’ll be fine. Please continue to drink and have a good time.”

Shaking his head, he went inside the house through the back patio door, to find Axel holding his son in one hand and gathering plastic cups with another.

“Yo, Axel, I’m getting ready to head out.”

“So soon? Why?”

“Maaaan, I see you practically every day, and I don’t know these people. Don’t take this wrong, but I came to eat, not to spend time with you! All you got going over here is some nasty food that ain’t fit for a troll, and you got the nerve to be about to order some pizza don’t nobody want. On top of it all, there’s some ugly ass cousin of English who is butthurt because I didn’t want to holla at her, so she threatened to sic her brother on me, getting all emotional about it. The cherry on top is this old ass music. I feel like I’m stuck in an episode of The Waltons, Soul Train, and the movie, Soul Plane, combined. I love y’all, but I’m out.”

Axel’s eyes narrowed on him, as if he was about to go off, and then, his face went blank, an expression soon replaced by a smile.

“Nope.” Legend crossed his arms.

“But you haven’t even heard what I was going to say yet.”

“I don’t have to. Iknowthat look. I’m not doing it.”

“Please! Look, man.” He grabbed his arm, desperation in his eyes. “I got a bunch of meat in the freezer. I can do a fast thaw in the microwave. We can hook up the grill! You can cook and grill your ass off, Legend! I’ll be your right hand. I’ll prep everything.”

“What do I look like to you? Colonel Sanders? Do I look like I walk around wit’ eleven herbs and spices?! You got like forty people ova here, man!” He pointed at the patio door. “What I look like cookin’ for forty people?! I ain’t even do that in prison when mothafuckas paid me to hook up their ramen noodles.”

“You cooked crack cocaine for at least sixty people in a day, I’m sure. This isn’t your first rodeo.”

“Oh, you got jokes!” Axel’s face flushed with shades of red as he grinned. “See? You always find a way to put me to work!” He wiggled his finger in the man’s face. “First, it was work for you. Your company. Okay, cool. Win-win situation. Then it was help yo’ girl. Fine. You’re my brother. That’s what we do. Then you wanted me to help haul mulch for ya new house. Didn’t offer me a dime. Then it was make these repairs at the rental apartments. I ain’t the damn landlord or owner!Youare! Then it was Cameron duty.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t throw my son into this! You like spending time with him.”

“I do, but you only called me so you could put me to work. You literally had me changin’ diapers when you were supposed to do that, while English was at work because you were in a bidding war for a new contract, afraid you’d miss out if you were dealin’ with him at the same time. Oh, but there’s more! Then it was take the truck to the—”

“Okay, okay! You’re right, but I’m desperate, Legend.” Axel put his fingers together in a pleading gesture. “You’re right about everything. Istillneed your help.”

“You better get cool with Papa John. Get some pizza like English said.”

“Don’t nobody wants any damn pizza, including me, but English isn’t listening. She cussed the owner of the catering company out on the phone, so any chance they’ll make good on this is now down the drain. The food is inedible. You and I bothknow that. Just cook some ribs, Legend. It kills me to say this, but I beggin’ you.”

“Man! You don’t even have any meat marinated. You can’t just throw shit on the grill all willy-nilly. It’ll be flavorless and tough. Ain’t no sides! No nothing!” Legend snatched the refrigerator door open and peered inside. He slammed it shut, angry as hell. “You better get out the peanut butta and jelly. ’Cause that’s what’s about to go down.”

“We’ll make it work. Whatever you need, I bet we have it downstairs. English has a deep freezer down there with all sorts of ribs, steaks, burgers, hot dogs, you name it.”

Just then, English walked back in and tossed a glance at Legend.

“Legend.” Her lips pursed, she leaned against the kitchen counter. “Did you hit on Chloe, and when she turned you down, you called her a clown ass ho?”

Axel burst out laughing and walked away.

“English… really?”

The woman kept the stern expression going for a while, then broke into laughter, too.

“I didn’t think that’s how the story went.” She shook her head and sighed. “My cousin is a trip. Anyway, time to call for those pizzas.” As she reached for her cellphone, he noticed Axel on the other side of the kitchen, pouting.

“…You son of a bitch.”

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