Page 27 of Drawn To You

After my talk with the girls, I decided maybe its time I visit my parents. My mom has been asking me to come out to their lakehouse for a visit. I just didn’t know if I was up for making that trip alone. Then the thought occurs to me. Maybe Joshua wouldn’t mind going with me. Despite knowing it’s a bad idea, I start texting him like my fingers have a mind of their own.

Abby: Still up?

Joshua: Yep. Is everything okay?

Reading his response, I can hear his voice in my head and it makes me think about what happened between us the other night, but I refocus.

Abby: Everything’s fine. Just wanted to let you know I’m heading to my parent’s lakehouse this weekend and wanted to know if you wanted to tag along.

I send a picture of the lake view from my parent’s back porch as an added incentive.

Joshua: So, what you’re saying is, I get to see you in a bikini if I go?

Abby: Anything is possible. But I guess you’ll have to go to find out.

Joshua: Cool. I’m game. Can you even swim?

I’m smiling from ear to ear, but when I realize it, I wrangle it in a bit.

Abby: Yes, I can swim. Need me to send you a reminder or something?

Joshua: Nope, just set one up on my phone.

Abby: Sweet.

I hold the phone to my chest and let my thoughts catch up. Well, one thing’s for certain, I definitely can’t say my life’s boring. And I sure as hell can’t say it’s predictable.

Abby: Have a good night.

Joshua: Will do. Sweet dreams, Abby.

Twenty Two

Friendly Warning

Abigail

The next day I woke up feeling excited about the upcoming trip to the lake with Joshua. I know we still had a lot of stuff to iron out between us but I was happy he had agreed to go with me regardless. I must have woke up feeling bold as well because I had called Josh to see if I could buy some weed to surprise Joshua with at the lake. I knew it was something out of character for me to do, which was exactly why I wanted to do it.

I pulled up outside our friend Royce’s house where I had agreed to meet Josh and texted him I was there before making my way to the side gate everyone knows to enter. I make it to the backyard and see Josh and Royce playing a game of pool. “Hey….look who’s here!” Josh greets me with a smile and I hug them both. “Abby, Josh is spreading lies about you. He says you want to buy weed from him and I told him I’d never believe it.” Royce teased me, knowing I never smoked with them at parties.

“Ha, ha, very funny, Royce. Don’t make a big deal out of nothing.” I retorted. “Besides, it’s not for me anyways. I’m headed to my parent’s Lakehouse this weekend and Joshua is tagging along with me and I know he smokes.” I explain.

The knowing look Josh and Royce exchange doesn’t escape my attention and I immediately regret my explanation and wish I could recall my words. “Hey Royce, I forgot my scale at home, do you think I can borrow yours?” Josh asks Royce and I can’t help but feel like Josh is using that as an excuse to have a moment to talk to me alone. I can feel in my gut that he has something on his mind he wants to share with me. “Ah, yeah no problem. I’ll go get it.” Royce says and heads inside leaving me alone with Josh.

Trying to keep my embarrassment hidden, I turn around to set my bag down on the table and stop dead when I see Josh standing there, watching me. Judging by the look in his eyes, I was right, he definitely has something on his mind. “I…” “Abby, I just want you to be aware that Joshua is in a weird place right now and he might not be thinking clearly,” he says. “He is in a world of shit right now because of Shannon. I love my brother and I’ll be the first one to tell you how much I hate seeing how much he is hurting right now. But I don’t think his head is straight right now and I also care about you too, Abby, and I just don’t want to see you get pulled into something with him that you can’t get yourself out of. Shannon is bad news, Abby. You don’t want to get on her radar because I’m scared of what she would do to you if she decides you are a threat.”

And with that, he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and looks me directly in the eyes. “I want you to know that I see you, Abby. You are a kind and loving person. You really care about people and you are such a good friend. I love you like a sister and I just don’t want to see you get hurt so I’m warning you to be careful.”

“Knowing Lily, I’m pretty sure she has already warned you to be careful a hundred different ways but I wanted to express my concern as well.” I sigh. “She might have mentioned it a time or two,” I reply and we both share a smile. “Of all the things Lily has taught me during the course of our friendship, being strong and independent is the one I most admire and want to mimic,” I say.So why on earth are you acting like you might fall apart over someone who doesn’t see you as anything serious?a little voice in the back of my head whispers but I don’t say it out loud.

“Good, that same sweet, spirited woman has taught me a thing or two also,” Josh says. “One of them is in order to properly take care of her I have to also take care of those that matter to the both of us. You’re definitely one of those people.” “Why do I feel like that’s going to be followed with a but?” I whisper. “That’s because you’re right.” He steps a little closer to me.

Suddenly I find myself feeling amazed at Josh’s sincerity and the powerful aura about him that inspires such a strong feeling of loyalty and trust all at once.

“You deserve to find happiness, Abby. I want that for you, Lily wants that for you. I just don’t know for sure if the road you are currently going down will lead you there or not.” I get what he means. “Put yourself first, Abby.” And with that, he lights a blunt and passes it to me. I’ve never smoked with Josh before but it feels like the right thing to do at the moment for some reason I don’t fully understand. But I feel like we are having a bonding moment and I decide I want to share a blunt with him.

I open my mouth, wanting to tell him not to worry about me and that it’s not what he thinks, but we would both know I was lying so I simply say, “Thank you.” and smile at him. “You care so much for other people, but don’t care for yourself.” The serious tone of his voice takes me by surprise. My throat clogged at his words. I didn’t like seeing my friends concerned about me like this. I didn’t like seeing them worried or conflicted. I didn’t like feeling the insecurity it caused within me.

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