Page 39 of Chosen Road

“Just because I don’t give you the details doesn’t mean you don’t help me carry it.”

A tear spilled over and slowly rolled down my face. Unfortunately, those pesky words often served as dam-breakers. God, I hated to cry in front of people.

Ruby put her arm around my shoulders and tugged me against her side. I pulled in a ragged breath and gave in to the temptation to rest my head on her shoulder. She pulled me closer, and I relaxed into her embrace.

My sister. She meant everything to me. I’d do anything for her. And had.

After my big revelation to Gus, I withdrew back into my cave, and Gus continued to do little things for me. One afternoon I came home to find two large, gorgeous, potted mums on my porch, something I used to buy for our house every fall. Another time when I had to work late unexpectedly, he took Alex to Swiss Chalet for dinner. Before they left, he ordered a meal to go for me and sent it in with Alex when he dropped him off.

We didn’t have a formal visitation agreement, deciding early on that we would be flexible. If I had to work, Alex stayed with Gus. If Gus wanted to take him out to do man things with balls and sticks and bats, that was fine. Alex came with me to Yiayia and Ruby’s on Sundays, and if he slept over at Gus’s Saturday night, Gus was sure to drop him off, but Gus rarely came in.

I felt terrible about that. Yiayia loved him like he was her own. To her, he was hers. They were close before our separation, but Gus stopped coming for family dinners even before I left, well before the accident. It was one of the reasons I thought something was going on with Jacqueline.

Thankfully, he didn’t ask me for an update about the counseling, but with everything he did for me, the husbandly way he acted, I felt the increased pressure not to disappoint him.

Another week passed, at the end of which Gus had a seminar out of town, causing him to miss his usual Saturday with Alex. Thankfully, Vander invited Alex to go rock climbing with him and Jace. He had a blast. As far as he was concerned, Thio Vander was in. Ruby seemed happy, so I was happy, too.

That night when Gus got home, he called and asked if he could come over and visit Alex. I wasn’t ready to talk to him, and already regretted telling him I wanted to see a therapist. I should have just told him I knew what I did was wrong, that he didn’t deserve it.

But he deserved more than that. He deserved my effort to right my wrongs, and I was making an effort. I sent out feelers for a therapist who specialized in abandonment issues in adults. There were two possibilities, but I had not yet been able to bring myself to contact either.

“Um, okay, Gus. I can drop him off to you? You can have him at your place?”

“Our place,” he gently corrected. “I’d love to see you, too, Amber. I’ll come over for a couple of hours and hang out with Alex in his games room, okay? I’m not trying to corner you.”

“Have you eaten?”

“I’ll grab something on my way.”

“No, we have leftovers. I’ll warm you up a plate.”

“What have you got?”

I groaned. “Pastitsio.”

He laughed. “And here I was thinking this was an act of love! You just want to get rid of the dreaded pastitsio!”

I snickered. “Well, she makes enough to feed an army when it’s only Alex and me!” I sucked in a breath at the reminder I so cavalierly spouted. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that!”

“It’s fine, Amber,” his warm voice washed over me. “I’ll see you soon.”

He ended the call, and I spent the next ten minutes kicking myself for my big mouth. See? This is why it’s better not to talk. I ruminated over whether or not I hurt his feelings as I cut a large piece of pastitsio and slid it onto a plate.

I retrieved the feta cheese and olives from the fridge and remembered I had a can of dolmodakia in the cupboard. Yiayia tended to send food over that she knew Gus liked, as if I could lure him back with promises of pastitsio. On that note, I grabbed one of Yiayia’s garden tomatoes from the drawer. It was a little over ripe but would still be good.

I sliced it in wedges and set it on the plate with a few chunks of feta cheese and olives. I sprinkled it with oregano and drizzled olive oil over the whole lot, nestled a few dolmodakia on the side, then put the pastitsio in the microwave.

I ran to the games room. Alex was lying on the pull-out couch playing a video game, his effort lackluster at best. He looked tired from his day out with Vander and Jace. I never thought I’d see him so calm, but rock-climbing seemed to do it.

“Alex,” I called softly, and he swung his tired gaze over to mine. “Your dad is coming over, okay?”

Immediately, his eyes widened with hope as he tossed the remote to the side and sat up straight on the couch. “Now?”

My heart both warmed and burned at his reaction.

You’re just like me.

“Yup! He’ll be here in about ten minutes.”

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