Page 38 of Chosen Road

Roses dusted her cheeks as her gaze wandered over my face and across my chest. Her lips parted as her attention drifted lower.

I heaved in a deep breath, and her eyes snapped back to mine.

“Oh!” Her eyes went wide at what she saw in mine, then fluttered to half mast. “Gus…” she breathed.

“Run, Amber,” I warned hoarsely. I hadn’t so much as touched her in over a year. Seeing her response and feeling her need, fueled mine. But I knew she would not welcome it, and I wanted to do nothing that would push her further away.

She backed up quickly without taking her eyes off me, calling for the boys, her voice high-pitched and breaking. “Alex! Jace! I’m leaving! Come give me a kiss!”

I heard Alex’s footsteps pounding up the stairs and knew Jace would be following right behind him. I walked away to compose myself, knowing that I’d been about two seconds away from tossing my wife over my shoulder, taking her upstairs, and tying her to the damn bed. I’d done it before when she pushed me too far, and I could see she remembered that as she backed away, her nipples tight, her breath hitching.

She said goodbye to the boys and turned towards me nervously as they headed back downstairs.

I smiled ruefully, and she looked to the floor for a moment before meeting my eyes.

“Gus, I was going to say that I was thinking to try counseling.” My heart leapt into my eyes, and she quickly held up a palm. “I don’t know if it will do any good. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to tolerate talking about it, but I thought you should know.”

“Thank you, Amber. Thank you for telling me.” I paused. “Why are you telling me?” I asked carefully.

She looked back down at the floor, visibly struggling to give me an answer. I’d almost given up and made ready to let her off the hook when she looked back up at me.

“Because what I did to you wasn’t right. And because I don’t know why I did it,” she answered softly.

I could not help the sigh of relief that escaped me. “That’s good, honey. That’s really good.” A wide smile broke across my face, and she spun away, dismayed.

“Oh, God, Gus! Don’t have hope!”

I didn’t hesitate this time to close the space between us. I turned her around to face me and drew her firmly against my chest.

The first contact.

In over a year.

She stiffened for half a second before melting against me.

“I believe in us,” I whispered. “More importantly, I believe in you.”

Chapter 14: Cracks in My Heart

Amber

Monday afternoon when I went to pick up Alex from Yiayia’s, I found Ruby sitting by herself on the front step. The past two days had been harrowing for her. First finding out that Jace was Vander’s, then having to tell Jace. My heart ached for her. It was one thing to screw up, it was quite another to screw up and involve your kid.

I knew all about that.

I got out of the car and sat on the step beside her. I bumped her lightly with my shoulder. “Hey,” I murmured. “How are you doing?”

She spilled like I knew she would. She didn’t come by the name ‘bucket mouth’ without cause. I comforted her as best I could. Ruby was nothing if not resilient and chose to look only on the bright side.

After a few moments of silence, she turned her attention to me. “How are you doing, Ames?” she asked softly.

“I’m okay, Rubes.” I smiled.

“I wish you’d let me share your burdens, Amber,” she murmured.

I pulled up my knees and wrapped my arms around them. It was cool during the days now, instead of just at night. I shivered.

How could I make her understand? While she wore her emotions on her sleeve, I kept mine tucked safely away. While she shattered in pieces on the ground for all to see and pick up together, I was tempered glass, and the cracks were never mended. Where words soothed her, in me they caused panic. I needed action, not words, and her steady presence was one of the only things I knew without a doubt I could count on. It gave me more strength than she could fathom.

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