Page 64 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

Sunday

A change of clothes hadn’t taken the chill out of my bones. I glanced over at James.

His hair was dry now, but the rain had made it curl. He looked handsome. And so very tired. He hadn’t touched me once since he promised not to. He didn’t take my hand to help me out of the car this time. He didn’t touch the small of my back to guide me toward our apartment.

We'd had a lovely evening until I broke everything. And now I was back, and our relationship was more broken than ever. But I didn’t know how to fix it. And I was too consumed by nerves. I felt like I was going to be sick.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

I swallowed hard. “Is she already home?”

James nodded.

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready. But he had given me a short rundown of my daughter. Her name was Scarlett. She was three and a half. She had red hair like me but brown eyes like him. She was outgoing and a little spoiled. When he told me that, I think he expected me to laugh. But nothing about this situation was funny to me. How was I supposed to be a mother when I didn’t even remember my daughter.

“You can wait until the morning, if you want. It’s pretty late, I can put her to bed.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can do this.”

He didn’t wait for me to change my mind. He opened the door and walked into his apartment. Our apartment. How was I ever supposed to get used to any of this? I could barely get used to him. Let alone…

“Mommy!”

All I saw was a blur of red hair and panda pajamas before my leg was attacked in a hug. I looked down at her mop of red hair. She was so cute. “Hey, Scarlett.”

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes. They looked exactly like James’. But hers weren’t stormy. Or tormented. “I missed you.” She pressed her face against my leg again.

“I missed you too.” It wasn’t even a lie. It was like I missed her even though I hadn’t known she existed. I squatted down to look her in the face. “Did you have fun with your aunt and uncle?”

She nodded. But she didn’t look as happy to see me as she had a second ago. It felt like she was examining me. She squinted her eyes slightly as she stared at me. Maybe she needed glasses? “Do you want help getting ready for bed?”

She squinted her eyes a little more before opening them wide again. She took a step back from me. “No, I want Daddy to help me.”

I saw how it was. She was a Daddy’s girl. And there he was a few hours ago claiming my kids needed me more than him. What a lie. Scarlett didn’t really seem happy to see me at all.

James lifted her up in his arms and peppered her face in kisses as she giggled. “Your mom’s going to help you, pumpkin. I’ll be up in a minute to tuck you in.”

Pumpkin. It truly had been her that he was talking to on the phone earlier. He really wasn’t cheating. I felt a wave of relief, and I wasn’t really sure why.

She squeezed her arms around James’ neck as she stared at me. “No.” She looked back at him. “I want you to help me. And to read my bedtime story. And to tuck me in.” She glanced back over at me and squinted her eyes again.

Was she glaring at me? Well, James had warned me that she was spoiled. Was I a bad mother? Is that why she was looking at me the way she was?

He kissed her forehead and then looked over at me. “It’s been a long day. Is it okay if I just…”

“Of course.” I honestly had no idea how to help a kid get ready for bed anyway. My babysitting skills were limited at best.

I watched them walk away. And I felt…empty. Did my daughter hate me? I wrapped my arms around myself so that I wouldn’t fall apart.

“Hey, sis,” Rob said as he walked into the foyer. He was holding a little girl about Scarlett’s age on his hip. She was fast asleep, her head pressed into his chest.

“Hey,” I said, despite the fact that he didn’t look happy at all to see me.

?

??Didn’t take you for a flight risk. Here I thought we had a fun afternoon, and the whole time you were planning on being an ass.”

His wife elbowed him in the side. I didn’t remember her name, but I remembered her from the hospital. “What he means to say is that we’re glad you’re back. We should probably get going.” She reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her daughter’s ear.

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