“Of course. Thanks for watching Scarlett.”
She looked up from her daughter. Her eyebrows pinched together for a moment before she rushed over to me and gave me a huge hug. “Don’t cry. Rob didn’t mean it. He was the one being an ass.”
I laughed. “It’s not that. Well, maybe it’s partially that.”
“Then what’s wrong? You look devastated.”
“Does Scarlett hate me?”
She immediately shook her head as she let me out of her embrace. “No. She talks about nothing but you. And whenever James came to visit her all she asked him was when she could see you. I know all of this has been hard. And I’m here if you need me. I know you don’t remember me, but we’re friends. If you need to talk about anything…”
“Then talk to her instead of leaving,” Rob said.
“Rob, you’re not helping. Can’t you see that she’s upset?”
He looked at me almost the same way Scarlett did. “Well, she shouldn’t have left. You didn’t just worry James. You worried all of us.”
“I’m sorry, Rob.” And I was. Just thinking about the note I had left made me cringe.
“Yeah, I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. Next time you think about making a run for it, try thinking of someone else for a change. You’re not the only one that got hurt, you know.”
“Rob.” She grabbed his arm. “I’m so sorry. We’re going to go before my husband decides to be even worse. Call me if you need anything. Really, anything.” She gave me a small smile before she pulled her husband out the front door.
She seemed nice. But I couldn’t call her. I didn’t even know her name. All I could think about was the fact that Rob had said I wasn’t the only one that had gotten hurt. He had to be talking about James. There was still so much I didn’t know. James had promised me answers before I had run out on him.
I walked into the family room to wait for him to come back downstairs. Melissa and Josh were sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. It was the strangest thing I had ever seen. Not just because I had forgotten they were visiting, but because I had never seen Melissa read anything but a textbook or magazine.
“Hey guys,” I said.
Melissa looked up from the paper. “I don’t know whether to hug you or give you the silent treatment.”
“I’m sorry.” All I could do tonight was apologize. I had messed everything up.
“I thought you killed yourself.”
James hadn’t said the words out loud, but Melissa had never shied away from how she was feeling.
“I didn’t think about how it would look,” I said. “I just wanted you to think I…you know…slipped and was unconscious.”
She stared at me. “Are you kidding? You took my example of why the cameras were a good thing and used it against me?” She shook her head. “Never mind, silent treatment it is.”
“Melissa.”
“Don’t Melissa me. We were up half the night looking for you all over the city. Speaking of which, we’re exhausted.” She tossed the newspaper on the coffee table. “We’re going to bed.”
“I’m sorry,” Josh mouthed to me before he followed her out of the family room.
I sighed and sat down where they had been sitting. I hadn’t thought about how much my actions would hurt everyone. But in my defense, I hadn’t planned on coming back.
Laughter drifted down from upstairs. Hearing it put a pit in my stomach. I expected to feel an instant connection with Scarlett. And I kind of had, until she gave me that strange little scowl. The way she studied me reminded me of her father. Maybe it was that they had the same eyes.
What if she never warmed up to me? What if she never liked me in the first place? I had no idea how to win her over because I didn’t know anything about her. Tomorrow was a new day. I’d try harder.
But no matter what I thought, the pit in my stomach only seemed to grow. It wasn’t just Scarlett I had to win over if I stayed. I had created this awkward tension between me and James. His brother hated me. Melissa hated me. And I had a son I still hadn’t even met.
I put my face in my hands. Tomorrow wasn’t going to be an easier day. I’d have to go see my son. Liam. James said he was born two months early. He had a lot of health problems. The doctors worried that if he made it, he’d have some kind of disability. The kid was doomed from the start.
I wanted children. But not like this. I wanted two healthy children that loved me as much as I loved them. Maybe that was the problem. I didn’t feel like I loved them yet. Scarlett was this tiny little stranger that happened to look like me. And in my mind, Liam was this tiny sickly thing hooked up to scary tubes.