Page 29 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“That’s the problem. I don’t really think I swooped her off her feet to begin with. I’m pretty sure she swooped me off mine.”

Rob laughed. “She was your knight in shining armor.” Even though he just laughed, he said the words seriously.

“And now I have a chance to save her. I need this. I think we both need it.”

I wiped away a tear that had fallen down my cheek. The first thing I realized about James was that he was broken. Why was that? What had I saved him from? I closed my eyes. I wanted to wake back up in my dorm. I wanted everything to go back to normal. Listening to their conversation wasn’t helping at all. It was just twisting my stomach further into knots.

I slowly stood up and started pacing back and forth. James wanted me to fall in love with him again. But I wasn’t sure I knew how. I had never been in love. I couldn’t just turn a switch in my heart and make myself understand that I needed him. And what if I had been unhappy as his wife? Why would I want to trick myself back into being miserable for eternity?

What I needed was to get out of this apartment. I needed to find some cash and get as far away from New York City as possible. My gut told me to go to my parents. But they seemed mixed up in all of this too. I needed to get away from everyone and clear my head. Yes. That’s what I had to do. Maybe one day I’d remember, or maybe I wouldn’t. But it would all be on my own terms. And then I could decide if I wanted this life or if I needed to make a new one for myself.

I ran over to the closet and searched around for a backpack. I knew I couldn’t run right now, but I could prepare for whenever I had the opportunity. After rummaging through the drawers, I found a small duffel bag shoved in the back of the closet. This will have to do. I stuffed it full of workout clothes like I’d actually be running the whole time I was running away. I even found a spare toothbrush to throw in. And then I hid it behind my extravagant shoe collection.

I took a deep breath. A go-bag. I felt like a criminal when I walked back out of the closet. But I wasn’t sure why. Everything in the bag was mine. I think.

***

“Do you want to go for that walk?” James asked.

I closed the nightstand drawer I had been searching through. Where did he keep all the loose cash? I couldn’t exactly leave without any money. Identification would be nice too, but James had definitely hidden my purse from me. Probably the same place he hid my phone. “Um. Sure.” I stood up.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“You mean before or after the fighting match downstairs?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I tend to be a little possessive.”

“Why don’t you trust your brother though? He’s married. And you know…your brother. I doubt he’d ever do anything to purposely hurt you.”

“He may have used to have a thing for you.”

“Well, now I’m fat and old. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” I smiled at him.

“You’re young. And beautiful. And not at all fat.”

I looked down at my stomach. “Then you’re blind.”

He laughed. It wasn’t as carefree as his brother’s laughter, but it still made me smile.

I stared at him. “Are you going to answer all of my questions?”

“I am,” he said. But he didn’t add anything else.

“So…what happened to me?”

“I want to show you something first. I think it might help jog your memory.” He put his hand out for me.

“We’re leaving the apartment?”

“We are.” He kept his hand outstretched.

What’s the worst that could happen if I take it? I slid my hand into his and let him lead me out of the bedroom. He was wrong when he told Rob that I cringed at his touch. I wasn’t cringing. I was scared of the energy I felt when I touched him. I wasn’t repulsed at all. I was terrified.

Chapter 13

Friday

I looked over my shoulder to see the two security guards following us through the winding paths of Central Park. “Do they always accompany us when we leave the apartment?” I asked.

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