James placed his hand on the armrest of the couch. He looked exhausted. But I didn’t really care. How was I supposed to help him if he didn’t let me in? How was I supposed to remember anything if pieces of my life were being hidden away?

“So, if you’ll excuse me,” I said and walked out of the room. I wasn’t sure where I was planning on going. I couldn’t storm out of the apartment. Running upstairs to my room was the best option. I just hated that it was James’ room too.

Chapter 12

Friday

“Why haven’t you shown her the book yet?” Rob asked. “It'll jog her memory.”

I didn’t even have to eavesdrop. Rob and James’ heated discussion easily drifted upstairs. But I still climbed off the bed and settled by the side of the door to hear them a little more clearly.

“I want her to remember. I don’t want her to be told what and how to remember it.”

“They’re her words. She has a unique opportunity to hear about her life through her own eyes. Not many people with amnesia get that.”

“But it’s a work of fiction. The memories are blurred. It’s not like experiencing it for the first time.”

“It’s not that much fiction.”

Did I write something? The thought made me smile. I loved reading. I always wished that I could articulate a story that was as good as the ones I read. Was that my job? Was I an author?

“James, I get that some of it is hard for you to think about, but she needs to remember it. The good and the bad. This is the easiest way.”

“Haven’t we had enough bad?”

“You can’t expect her to remember anything if you’re hiding pieces of your lives from her.”

“I just…I don’t want her to read about loving me. I want her to fall in love with me all over again.”

“Why? When all she has to do is remember how much she loved you in the first place…”

“Because we were broken! I have an opportunity to fix it.”

“You weren’t broken.”

“She thought I cheated on her, Rob. The fact that she thought that means something wasn’t right. And it’s more than just that. I’d catch her crying and she’d wipe away the tears and pretend she hadn’t been. Her frowns killed me. She wasn’t happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do. You think I can’t tell when she’s hurting? That look she gave me a few minutes ago…that wasn’t the first time I’ve seen that. I feel like all I ever do is upset her.”

“You’re being a little hard on yourself.”

“Am I? Right now she doesn’t really know either of us. But when I touch her she cringes. Yet when I walk in and you’re on top of her tickling her, her whole face is lit up.”

“Because I was tickling her. She didn’t have much of a choice.”

“It’s more than that. It’s pretty clear she doesn’t like me. She’s disappointed in her life. Disappointed in her choice of husband. It’s all over her face.”

“She couldn’t possibly be. Look at everything you’ve given her.”

“It was never about expensive things with her. She doesn’t care about any of this. She never did. It’s one of the many reasons I fell for her in the first place.”

I let my head rest against the doorjamb. Maybe he knew me better than I realized. I bit the inside of my lip. So had

I been unhappy? Had I hated this life?

“So what’s the game plan then?” Rob asked. “Try to swoop her off her feet? Again?”