Page 30 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

He nodded.

“So we’re always in danger of something? Or someone?”

“Not necessarily. I may be a little overprotective of you. And especially when we’re apart, I worry.” He squeezed my hand.

I think he meant the action to be comforting. But his words made him seem overbearing. I hadn’t been allowed to leave the house today without him. What else wasn’t I allowed to do without his permission?

“But are we in danger now?” I asked.

He sighed. It sounded so heavy, like he had been holding it back for years. “I honestly don’t know anymore.”

“You promised you’d answer my questions, James.”

“And I will. Are you hungry?” He had stopped in front of the restaurant he’d pointed out yesterday. The one with the huge tree that we apparently got married under.

It really was breathtakingly beautiful. There were a few wedding pictures in our apartment and I truly had looked happy. Painfully happy. That was the only way to describe it. I had been smiling so much it looked like my face probably hurt for days. And it was painful now to look at, because I couldn’t remember a single second of it. Weddings were known to be one of the best days of a person’s life. My best day was still when I got my acceptance to The University of New Castle. I had never been so excited. Did my wedding day top that? Was it as perfect as everyone claimed it would be?

“No, I’m good,” I said. I didn’t want to sit under that tree and eat lunch with him. Not just because not remembering made me uncomfortable. But because it would be hard for him. I got why he brought me here. I understood what he was doing. Even if I hadn’t overheard his conversation with Rob, I would have known he was trying to trigger my memories. But I had no memories of him. I just…didn’t.

He looked pained that I wasn’t trying. Or maybe he was just in pain.

“What happened to us, James?” The expression on his face made me want to cry. I wanted to hug him and fight away all his demons. I wished that everything that came out of my mouth didn’t hurt him so much.

He pulled me over to a bench outside of the restaurant and we both sat down. He grabbed my hands, cradling them between his, like he was worried I’d try to flee if he let go. I thought about my go-bag hidden in the back of his closet. Would it crush him when I left? Would he eventually heal?

James ran his thumb along the back of my hand. I found it oddly comforting. It pulled me out of my thoughts. I stared into his eyes, willing myself to remember a past I wasn’t sure I even believed was real.

“We were happy, Penny.”

That wasn’t what he had said to his brother. He said he caught me crying all the time. It sounded to me like I had been depressed. “You used the past tense. Is that because you’re not happy now? Or does it go further back than that?”

He glanced over at the tree. I could tell that memories were flashing through his mind. Glimpses of us.

I felt like he was lulling me into a false sense of security. He was making me feel safe. But I felt like whatever he was about to say was going to terrify me. “James.”

He pulled himself out of his memories and looked back at me. “I’m going to start at the beginning.” He continued to rub his thumb along the back of my hand. “We met outside of class. You literally fell into my arms.”

I laughed. “I’m not the most graceful person.”

“I don’t think it had anything to do with that. I think we were meant to run into each other that day. I needed you in my life. And I like to think that you needed me too.”

His words made my chest hurt. I had never heard anything so romantic in my life. “You’re a believer in fate?”

“I wasn’t. But then I met you. You changed everything, Penny.” His Adam’s apple ros

e and fell. “Every single thing.”

“How?”

“I…” He leaned forward slightly. “I wasn’t whole before I met you.”

Everything he was saying was romantic. Yet vague. And rather cliché. I wanted to hear him out, but he wasn’t giving me any details. “So…you were a single professor looking for love on campus?”

“No.” He looked like I had slapped him. He let his hands fall from mine. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Because we met outside of class? After you found out you were my professor, shouldn’t you have forgotten about me?”

“You made that impossible.”

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