Page 83 of The I Do Over

“Knox…”

“I’ve got trust issues,” he went on. “And I know it, and I promise to work on them. You mentioned going to therapy and I’m not going to lie to you; I was completely against it. But now I think it would probably be awesome for us. I’m not going to let my preconceived thoughts on therapy keep me from being the man that you deserve.” It felt good to get that off of his chest, but he still had one more thing to say. “I love you, Maddie. Always.”

After putting the box of cookies down, Maddie came and sat beside him. She didn’t have on a stitch of makeup, her face was scratched and sunburned, her hair was up in a towel, and she had a smudge of chocolate on her lip.

And she was the most beautiful girl in the world to him.

“May I please say something now?” she softly asked.

He nodded and fought the urge to touch her.

But she touched him first—her hand resting on his thigh—so that was a good sign.

“My plan had been to leave here Saturday morning and come to see you,” she began shyly. “And then beg you to forgive me.”

“Maddie…”

“Nuh-uh…you had your say and now it’s my turn,” she corrected him. “I should have told my father the truth. I mean…it was the perfect opening and opportunity and I completely clammed up.”

“You weren’t feeling well…”

She shot him a look of total annoyance and he immediately shut up.

“Yes, I wasn’t feeling well, but I was fine enough that I could have said what needed to be said and for that, I am sorry. You didn’t deserve his scorn all those years ago, and you certainly don’t deserve it now. I’m incredibly pissed with him and had no intention of speaking to him any time soon, but I am more than willing to get on the phone right now—your phone, that is—and set things straight. Hell, we can drive back to my place or yours and video chat with him. Whatever it is that you want me to do, I’ll do it.”

When she paused for a breath, he blurted out the one thing he needed to know more than anything.

“Did he hurt you, Maddie?” he asked quietly. “Ever.”

“Emotionally? Yes. Physically? Never. I swear, Knox. I never told you about that side of him because I was embarrassed. And for all the years we were together, you never saw it because there wasn’t a reason to.”

“I always thought it was bizarre how unhinged he got that day.”

She nodded. “It was the angriest I’d ever seen him and it scared me. Maybe if I had shared that part of my home life with you…”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he said solemnly. “It wouldn’t have changed anything that day. I know that now. I hate how much time we’ve lost, but we need to stop looking back.” Then he shook his head. “No, I need to stop looking back.”

“You had it right the first time. We. It’s both of us. I don’t want that day to define us or keep defining us. I really love what we’ve been creating now, Knox. I know we still have a few hurdles to deal with, but if we take the time to sit and talk about them without being afraid of hurting each other’s feelings or making demands, then I think we can truly have everything we want.”

It sounded so simple.

“You are the bravest person I know,” he said after a moment. “And that’s saying something considering I spent fifteen years in the Navy.”

“I’m really not…”

“Yes, you are, Maddie. You faced your fears and came and found me. You stood up to me when I was less than sympathetic or even gracious. But more than anything, you’re able to admit to your faults when most people—myself included—do whatever we can to avoid making that admission. Just ask Xander and Daniel. I’m the worst when it comes to admitting I was wrong about anything.”

Without saying a word, Maddie looked up at him, but he couldn’t quite tell what she was thinking.

Then she paled.

And possibly turned a little green, and he knew what was coming and scooped her up in his arms and ran to the bathroom.

He stood outside the door because the bathroom was just as tiny as he expected and the two of them could not fit in there at the same time. When she stood and faced him, he made the executive decision that enough was enough.

“Get dressed,” he told her. “We’re going to the doctor.”

“Knox…”

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