Page 82 of The I Do Over

“Knox, I’m fine. A little tired and actually kind of hungry, but other than that, I’m good.” Pointing to her face, she chuckled. “This just looks worse than it actually is. Trust me.”

“If you’re hungry, you should have something to eat. We can still talk while you do that.” The place was seriously tiny—a living room/kitchen combo, a bedroom, and a bathroom. If it was more than 700 square feet total, he’d be surprised.

“I was going to order a pizza and have it delivered,” she told him. “I can still do that if you’d like to join me.”

“Um…sure.”

Then he watched as she went through the same frustration she had only minutes ago with her phone and slowly walked over and gave her his. Once she ordered through the app, she went to the kitchen and grabbed a box of cookies, and sat back down in her chair.

Without offering him one.

“Oh…wait,” she said, jumping up and getting herself something to drink.

Without offering him one.

“Maddie…”

“I know, I know. Sorry.” She was seated and comfy again and gave him a sweet smile. “We really need to talk. I know. Go ahead.”

The long breath was out as he tried to figure out where he should even start.

“I fucked up,” he said, elbows on his knees, and as brutally honest as he’d ever been in his life. “Everything that happened last weekend was…it was me being unreasonable and wanting to be in control of a situation. I was projecting what I wanted you to do and think and feel and it wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry.”

Maddie blinked at him as she nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie.

Clearing his throat, he went on. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to confront your father, and I should have respected the fact that you were sick. I made the situation all about me when you are what is most important to me.”

Her expression softened, but she didn’t say anything.

“When I left your house on Friday, I did something that I hadn’t done in a long time. I went home.” He gave her a weak smile. “Well, my mom and dad’s place, but…yeah. Home.” With a small shrug, he continued. “I don’t know why that was where I wanted to be, but it just was. Maybe it was the comfort from my parents, but I think part of it was the need for nostalgia. I was happy in that house when you and I were dating. It stopped being a place of comfort after we broke up.” Pausing, he shook his head. “I’m rambling, I know, but…”

“How are your folks?” she asked around a mouthful of cookie.

“They’re good. The timing just happened to work out that they were in town and I got there in time for dinner.” He smiled, remembering the burgers they had ordered. “And you were right, those fries are still good.”

Her eyes went wide as she smiled. “I told you.”

“Yeah, well…it was a great dinner and it was nice to just sit and hang out with them. They didn’t push me to talk about anything until I was ready—which wasn’t until Saturday morning over pancakes.” He chuckled. “They weren’t as good as yours, but it was the thing that got me to open up.”

She nodded.

“I told them about you—us—and what had been going on and they were genuinely happy. Then I told them what an ass I was at your house and then they were a little less happy.” He paused and remembered how he felt like a little kid again, getting reprimanded and fully expecting to be sent to his room. “My mom got up and left the room and I thought she was really disappointed in me. But then she came back a few minutes later with a box. She took my breakfast away and put the box in front of me.”

“What was it?”

“Some stuff, like memorabilia from high school—my diploma, a crap ton of pictures, some old CDs, and…your letters.”

“What?!”

It was his turn to nod. “She put them in a smaller box and sealed it and had planned on sending them to me once I was done with boot camp. Then she thought better of it and figured she’d wait and give them to me when I came home. Only…I never really came home.” He sighed. “After a while, she thought it was best to leave the past in the past and had forgotten that she even had them. Until that morning.”

“Oh, Knox…wow. I…I don’t even know what to say,” Maddie said quietly.

Swallowing hard, he clasped his hands in front of him and studied her. “Say that you forgive me,” he said gruffly. “Tell me I didn’t screw things up for us. I didn’t want to believe you about the letters because then I wouldn’t have an excuse to still be mad.”

“Knox…”

“And as for your dad…I can’t guarantee that we’ll ever get along, but he’s still your father and I need to respect that. In time…maybe he’ll come to see that I’m not the villain he thinks I am.” Then he let out a mirthless laugh. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to say the same about him, but I do promise to keep it to myself. It’s my issue, not yours.”

---