Page 88 of The Accidental Wife

Cole

Two weeks.

That's how long it's been since I walked away from Shayla after that night I spent with her. The last time I saw her was at Grandpop's funeral a week later. I didn't know she'd be there, so when I saw her, the emotions I'd been suppressing bubbles up again. She sat two rows behind me on the other side at the church. I kept looking back at her, and her eyes would find mine, and we'd stare at one another until she breaks eye contact and looks ahead. Sophie was stuck to my side the entire time, so I couldn't even speak to her properly, which fucked me off royally. After the burial, she disappeared without a word, and I still remember my gut twisting in disappointment. I made her a promise that I would let her be, and I'm trying to keep my word, but it's just so hard.

* * *

That morningI woke up in her arms. I must have fallen asleep while she read to me. I can see why Grandpop loved it when she read to him. Something is soothing about the way she reads that calms your mind and body. I stir awake, and the first thing I see is her angelic face. I can't even tell you how we ended up in this position with my face nuzzled in her neck, while her arms were wrapped around my head, her fingers curled in my hair. I lay as still as I could, just watching her sleep for a while.

How the fuck am I going to walk away from you for good.

Shayla eventually stirs in her sleep and opens her eyes. I close mine feigning sleep. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, not yet, and a part of me was curious to see if she would wake me or let me sleep as I had her. Even with my eyes closed, I can feel her watching me, she brushes her fingers through my hair, and I resist the urge to shiver. When she presses her lips to my forehead, it made me ache significantly. I open my eyes and wrap my arm around her waist, drawing her closer against me, and she tightens hers around me with a sigh. "Cole, your phone is vibrating." She tells me, and I shrug in response.

"So, let it," I mumble, nuzzling her neck. Fuck how is it possible to smell this good all the damn time? It's a mixture of laundry detergent, her sweet vanilla perfume, and her shampoo. If I could package that smell and take it with me, I honestly would.

"It could be important, Cole." I shake my head. Nothing is more important than being in her arms right now.

"It's not," I sigh, rubbing her hip with my thumb. When she gives me a pointed look, I groan and reach for my phone and see Sophie's name flashing across the screen. I curse my fate when Shayla sees her name and pulls herself away from me.

"You can get it if you want. I'll leave the room." She offers, shifting off the bed, but I sit up and catch her arm before she can get up completely.

"It can wait, Shay. I'll call her later." I say, and Shayla stares at me with a forlorn look on her face.

"Cole, this isn't right." She utters, pulling her arm out of my hold and shoving her fingers through her hair.

I blink up at her, confused, "What isn't?"

"This…us," She answers. "Sharing a bed. Waking up the way we did, the kiss, everything. It's not fair to Sophie. If my boyfriend spent the night and was waking up wrapped in his ex-wife's arms, I'd be devastated." I watch her as she paces up and down the room, then she stops and looks at me. "Cole, you've got to go."

I stand up and walk over to her, but she backs away, shaking her head, "You're kicking me out?" I question.

Shayla sighs, shutting her eyes, "Deep down, you know this isn't right too. You should be with her. You should be waking up with her, not me. The media are all over us at the moment. All it takes is one photo to get leaked, and how will you explain it to her, Cole? To everyone?" She questions, and all I could do was look at her. She was right. But I just can't control myself around her. Shayla opens her bedroom door; her eyes cast down. "You should go." She whispers.

I was hurt that she would kick me out like that. Is this how we're going to say goodbye? I nod and walk out of her bedroom. Shayla follows me to the front door, but I don't even look back. I open the door and step out without a word, and pull the door shut hard behind me. I lean back against it and close my eyes, biting my lip hard. Thirty seconds later, I turn around and knock on the door. Shayla opens it not even a second later. We stood still for a moment looking at one another, before I take a giant step toward her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her in for a hug at the same time as Shayla wraps her arms around my neck, and I lift her off the ground, burying my face into her neck. We hold each other tightly, neither of us wanting to pull apart.

Shayla pulls her head back while I lift mine and press my forehead to hers. "I'll never be sorry," I whisper to her, and she shakes her head.

"Me either." She whispers, and I kiss her forehead before I set her back down to her feet. "Goodbye, Tristan Cole Hoult." She whispers gazing up at me.

I bite my lip, "I'll see you, Shayla Hart." We share one last look before I turn and keep my promise to her. With a heavy heart, I walk away and leave her behind me. I cried the whole drive home. The heaviness in my chest grew the further away I got from her.

Adjusting to life without her has been challenging. I threw myself into work much like I did before I met her. I took on project after project, flew all around the world to keep myself distracted so that I wouldn't think about her.

I put all my energy into my relationship with Sophie, and it was going well. Day's drug on, nights even longer when I lay in bed with Sophie and Shayla's face creeps into my mind, or I dream about her. I wonder what she's doing at least a hundred times a day. I miss her terribly, her laugh, her voice, her smell, the way she would glare at me when I annoyed her, and I wonder if she misses me too or if she even thinks about me. I want to call her. I get tempted, and my finger hovers over her name on my phone before I toss it aside and groan.

One month goes by, then two, then three, but the gaping hole Shayla has left in my life doesn't seem to be disappearing.

"Baby?" I look over at Sophie, who smiles at me lovingly. "What are you thinking about. You look as though your miles away." She questions and I shake my head. I reach over and take her hand, kissing her knuckles.

"Nothing, babe, I was just thinking how beautiful the day was." I lie with a smile, and she returns my smile and rubs her thumb over mine. 'If you leave me now' by Chicago comes on the radio, and I lean over and turn the volume up. I get flashes of the day Shayla and I were singing the lyrics to one another. We'd belt this out together whenever it came on in the car. I smile fondly at the memory.

"If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me." I sing along quietly.

Sophie looks over at me before leaning over and turning the volume down to the song. "My God, what is this stupid song you're listening to." I watch her as she pulls down the visor and attempts to fix her hair. I turn the music off with a sigh. "Oh sweetie, there's this yacht party Saturday. We're going, right?" I stare at the road ahead, and I nod mutely. I tune her out when she starts babbling on about the people attending this party.

* * *

An hour later,I’m sitting at the dinner table at Sophie's parent's house, and I'm listening to her Dad drone on and on about how well his business is doing. I never met a more tedious and self-centered man in my life, he talks, and I literally fall asleep with my eyes open. I mastered that technique when I was dating Sophie previously.

---