Page 72 of Cuffed By Love

I havethis urgent need to plough my fist through something or scream out all of this pent up frustration until my lungs combust. Twice in one day, I almost kissed Mira. This afternoon, I, by some miracle, managed to pluck up the strength to stop myself, but I was going for it with no intention to stop this time. I fucked off every possible consequence, threw caution to the wind and was willing to risk it all for just a taste of her. We may not have kissed, but the moment my lips barely made contact with hers, I felt this juddering deep within me. The tight squeeze of my gut like someone had an iron lasso around me and was squeezing tight till I could no longer breathe.

I’m not a cheat. This isn’t me, but Mira is doing something to me. She’s making me feel some type of way I’ve not felt in years. I have no control, especially where she’s concerned. I want her, and fuck, I want her bad. I can’t fight this need I have for her. I’m really struggling. I’m ignoring every sign, the warning sirens ringing in my head telling me to back the fuck off. I love Mir…Megan, fuck, I love Megan. Do you see what she’s doing to me? I’m losing my fucking mind. It wouldn’t be this difficult if it were one-sided, and it was just me crushing on her, but she wants me to. I can feel it. I can see it in her eyes.

I’m turning into everything I hate. I can’t break up with Megan. How can I justify breaking up a five-year relationship over feelings I’m not even sure I apprehend or if it will ever turn into anything at all. I don’t want to risk losing Mira’s friendship now we’re on good terms again. Maybe just maybe it’s just chemical attraction, built-up sexual tension that will go away in time. I truly hope that’s the case, or I’m going to end up hurting Megan and fuck everything up and risk losing Mira in the process.

I can’t stop staring at her, the way she’s licking and chewing on her bottom lip. Oh God, I just want to grab that beautiful face and devour every inch of that perfect mouth. I want to feel her tongue gliding over mine. I want to make her moan like she did earlier when I told her I’m obsessed with the way she smells, all sweet and zesty like a forbidden fruit I crave more than anything but can never have.

“Here,” I glance down at the bottle of Corona Mira hands me and a wrap of some sort.

“What is this?” I ask, taking it from her and sniffing it. Mira watches me with eyes full of mirth and shakes her head. “Do I need to worry about catching buttworms?”

Mira bares her teeth with a wicked grin, “Would I be eating it if that were even a possibility?” She snickers before she takes a bite of her wrap and moans gleefully. “I promise you will love it.”

I take a bite and marvel at the burst of flavours in my mouth before I even get to chew. “Holy cow,” I utter with a mouthful, and Mira grins.

“It’s like a burrito, but instead of chicken or beef, they use kebabs,” Mira explains after she swallows her mouthful. We settle with our drinks and food and listen to more artists perform.

When she said I would fall in love with this place, she wasn’t jesting. I could sit here for hours and quite easily lose myself in the music. Mira, as per usual, was right. The talent here is something else. The ‘artists’ we sign don’t possess even half the talent I have discovered here tonight. You can really feel the love they have for their music in their performances; that’s precisely what my label has been missing. I look over at Mira gently swaying side to side beside me to the song playing. I lean over and drop a kiss on her temple, catching her momentarily off guard. She turns to look at me quizzically, “What was that for?”

“Thank you for bringing me here. You were right. These are the type of artists that are deserving of a shot. They’re fantastic.” Mira’s lips curl into a dazzling smile, and she shrugs, looking up at me from over her shoulder. “I think you may have just helped bring a couple of these people one step closer to achieving their dreams.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

The time was just after eleven, and everyone had pretty much left, leaving only Mira and me lying on the floor pillows gazing up at the stars.

“You remember that bet you lost last week?” I remind her, and Mira frowns while she looks up at the sky.

“No, I didn’t lose no bet.”

I chuckle and shift so I can look down into her face. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Mira blinks up at me and sighs.

“What about it?”

“I think I’d like to cash in on that.” Mira’s brows furrow, and she shakes her head.

“Now?” I nod, smiling.

“Dev, no, I’m not singing here in front of everyone.” I turn my head and glance around the area and back down at Mira.

“Tinks everyone left. It’s just the two of us and a couple of the artists over there.” I inform her, and she lifts her head, and her eyes do a quick scan of the area.

“Oh.”

I brush my thumb over her chin, “Sing for me.”

“Dev, come on, I haven’t sung anything in years. Besides, there are no instruments anyway.” She sighs, sitting up, and I follow suit and look over at the grand piano in the corner under the tree.

“There’s a piano right there,” I point out and jump up to my feet. Mira refuses to get up, but I pull her up to her feet and proceed to drag her over to the piano. Mira groans but follows me begrudgingly.

“Fine, what do you want me to sing for you?” She questions, taking a seat on the stool and lifting the cover of the piano.

“You choose.”

Mira bites her bottom lip and nods; she exhales slowly before starting to play the piano just as beautifully as I remember. I recognise the song as Don’t Speak by No Doubt. “You and me, we used to be together, every day together, always.” I lean against the piano and watch her fixedly while she sings. Oh damn. I forgot how melodic and beautiful her voice was. “I really feel that I’m losing my best friend. I can’t believe this could be the end. It looks as though you’re letting go. And if it’s real, well, I don’t want to know.”

Mira’s slender fingers elegantly glide over the keys, her eyes cast down, but her mind appears off someplace else. “Don’t speak. I know just what you’re saying, so please stop explaining, don’t tell me ’cause it hurts. Don’t speak, I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t need your reasons, don’t tell me ’cause it hurts.” I can’t take my eyes off her. Every word that leaves her lips feels like it’s directed at me, each one like a lethal punch to the gut. A giant lump forms in my throat, and no matter how hard I try to swallow it, it just grows and aches like the day I was forced to walk away from her.

While I watch her, my mind flashes back to the day I left her sleeping in that bed. The agonising pain in my chest when I stood looking up at her house as I got into the car. We drove away. Every mile that stretched out between us made that unbearable heaviness intensify and spread until it was fucking suffocating me. I lived and breathed Mira, so walking away from her and knowingly hurting her was one the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Forgetting about her was damn near impossible.

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