Page 73 of Cuffed By Love

“As we die, both you and I. With my head in my hands, I sit and cry,”

When Mira opens her eyes, she looks up at me while she sings the next verse; her eyes glisten with unshed tears, “You and me, I can see us dying, aren’t we?” Her voice quivers ever so slightly while she fights back her emotions. I fist my hands at my side, my jaw clenched tight while I hold her gaze. “Don’t speak. I know what you’re thinking. I don’t need your reasons, don’t tell me cause it hurts.” Finally, she finishes and releases a slow quivering breath as she lowers her gaze to her trembling fingers still resting on the piano.

A long, drawn-out silence falls upon us, neither of us knowing what to say or how to bring up what we’re clearly thinking. “Mira—”

“Don’t.” She interjects, opening her eyes once again to look up at me. “You’ll ruin it.” This is the first time since I’ve been back that she’s truly let me in, allowed me to see the sorrow she’s kept concealed away in her heart for years. I’m not a senseless moron. I know I hurt her, even if she refuses to admit it. I know that’s the reason she’s been so hostile and guarded toward me since I’ve been back. I had my reasons, and she could have reached out too. She’s just as much to blame as I am.

I didn’t hear from her even after I left her with every possible way of contacting me. I got nothing. No calls, no emails, no texts, no letters, and I waited. I waited patiently for fucking years until I finally gave up. There is enough blame to go around for us both, it seems. So the question is, which one of us will break first and ask the questions we’ve both been burning to get the answers to for the past nine years. Answers only we could provide to squash this resentment festering between us once and for all.

Mira closes the cover to the piano and stands up, smoothing out her dress. I take a step to stand in front of her, “You still play and sing as beautifully as I remember Tinks.”

Mira’s cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink at my compliment. She tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and smiles gratefully. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear that.”

“I know you’ve always struggled with stage fright and performing in front of others, but you should be sitting behind a piano and doing what you love. You don’t belong behind a desk in an office all day, sweetheart.” I tell her earnestly and take her hand in mine. “You deserve to be up on a stage with thousands singing along with you to one of the many songs I know you’ve written and stashed someplace.”

“Devin, please stop. I have no interest in pursuing a singing career.” Mira opposes, pulling her hand from my hold and brushing her hair away from her face where the breeze causes it to fall in front of her face.

“What are you afraid of, Mira? Why are you so eager to give up doing what you love? I’ll sign you in a heartbeat and help you with whatever you need. Together we can make your dreams a reality.”

“Goddamn it, Dev. It’s not my dream anymore!” Mira snaps stormily, her eyes wide while her chest rises and falls with every angry breath she takes. “I already told you my reasons. Let it go, because I already did and have made my peace with it.” I shake my head and watch her turn to walk off. When I don’t follow, she stops and looks back at me questioningly. “Can we please go?” I nod and wordlessly follow her back to the car park.

Something is nagging at me. Mira is keeping something from me, and I’m going to find out what. People change, sure, but not this much, not like this. Something must have happened for Mira to just up and quit singing when she loved it so much. I’ll get it out of her sooner or later.

* * *

A forty-five-minute drive later,we pull up at my apartment complex. It was almost one in the morning, and I was oddly alert, which is uncommon for me. Unless I’m out with Megan at an event, I try to be in bed by eleven at the latest, then wake up at six to go for my run, however since I’ve been cuffed with Mira, my sleep pattern and routine has been pretty much non-existent.

I can’t wait to get into my bed. The thought alone makes me yawn as we walk over to the elevator. Mira stops and looks at the elevator door, then at me. “Uh, wait, where are the stairs?”

“On the other side of the car park,” I answer, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder in the direction to illustrate my point.

Mira nods and goes to walk off, but when I don’t move with her, she comes bouncing back to me. She lets out an adorable little squeak, almost toppling over, but I catch her before she loses her footing and hits the floor. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to walk with me, remember?”

I let loose a humourless laugh while I lift her back up to her feet. “I’m not going up thirty flights of stairs at one in the morning, Tinks.”

Mira scowls at me, “Well, I’m not going in the elevator, so I guess we’re going back to my place then.” She spins on her heel and attempts to walk back to the car, but I spin her and pull her back to me. Mira gasps when her body presses up against mine. She peers up at me, startled.

“Ah, not so fast, Tinks,” I speak quietly and sweep away her hair that fell into her eyes using the back of my fingers. “We’re taking the elevator.” Mira’s eyes grow wide in alarm, and she shakes her head swiftly, taking a step back from me.

“No, I can’t, I can’t go in there.” She utters hastily, her voice quivering with fear.

“Yes, you can. It’s time to face your fears. It’s going to be okay, I promise. It will be over in a couple of minutes, Tinks.”

“No, Devin, I can’t. Please, I’m scared. Let’s just take the stairs.” Mira pleads fretfully, looking at the doors with apprehension when the bell dings and they swing open. I pick her up and walk into the elevator. “No, stop! Dev, please, this isn’t funny. I can’t do this. Please put me down. Devin!” Mira shrieks frantically, flailing in my arms and slapping my back.

“Tinks this is happening, you can hit me all you want, but you need to squash this fear of yours,” I say, pushing the button to my floor and press the security code in. I set Mira back down on her feet just as the woman announces that the doors are closing. She goes to run out, but I grab her and pull her back to me.

“Dev, I can’t, I can’t breathe in here. Please don’t make me do this!”

“Hey, Tinks, calm down. I’m right here, right here with you,” I assure her, but she gapes at the door in horror when it slides shut. Her chest rises and falls with each quick breath she takes to calm her racing heart when her anxiety spikes.

“Oh my God, I can’t breathe. Dev, I can’t breathe.” She whimpers in a frenzy, and I grasp her face with my hands and force her to look at me.

“Mira, hey, Mira, look at me.” Panting, she lifts her eyes to mine. I can feel her entire body trembling with trepidation. “You’re okay, you’re okay, just focus on me, babe.” I keep my eyes on hers, and she gasps when the elevator starts to move, squeezing her eyes shut. “Look at me, look into my eyes.” Her eyes flicker open, and she stares into my eyes. “I’ve got you, no matter what. I won’t ever let anything happen to you, okay, trust me.”

Mira’s breathing calms a little, “For now and always.” She whispers between breaths, and I smile, brushing my thumb over her jaw comfortingly.

“For now and always,” I whisper back, pressing my forehead to hers while I brush my fingers through her soft wavy hair. I glance up at the numbers and see we’re still on the fifteenth floor. “Do you remember that trip we all took to Turkey when we were thirteen, and you were terrified of getting into the sea because you couldn’t swim, and I spent the whole day teaching you how to swim?” Mira nods slowly, “My arms ached for days after from holding you up for hours on end, but I didn’t stop until you learned and was no longer scared. Remember how much fun we had on the jet skis. I couldn’t get you out of the sea after that.”

Mira smiles faintly, “I remember you and Levi pranking me that you were drowning to see if I would jump in and save you,”

“And you did.” I laugh, “You were splashing around more than anything, and we both almost drowned, but you didn’t think twice and jumped right in.” I state evenly, once again losing myself in her warm golden gaze. “Don’t let your fear control you and stop you from doing what you want, Tinks. You’re better than that.”

The elevator slows to a stop when we reach my penthouse. I’m yet to tear my gaze from hers. The doors slowly slide open directly into my penthouse, and just as I step away from Mira and turn to walk out, I hear my name and halt in my tracks.

“Devin…”

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