Page 124 of Ache for You (Slow Burn 3)
That’s why I couldn’t go through with the wedding.”
Danielle’s laughter dies as doubt sets in. “Gay? I don’t understand.”
“That was my exact reaction, too.” I get up from the kitchen table to find another bottle of wine.
“I’m surprised I didn’t see it,” says Jenner, “but I’m glad you pulled the plug on the wedding, for both your sakes.” His voice hardens. “We’ll talk about how you should’ve handled that later.”
“I appreciate the support, but I’ve already put him through the wringer.” I lift a bottle from the wine rack on the counter next to the fridge. Nebbiolo. Nice. “Besides, what’s done is done.”
“Right!” says Brad, overly bright. “What we need to concentrate on now is getting her back together with her stepbrother!”
Danielle mutters, “This is the strangest phone call in history.”
“We’re going to need the full backstory if you want us to be any help,” says Jenner, smoothly switching gears. He’s always good in a crisis.
I spend roughly ten minutes recounting everything that’s transpired between Matteo and me since I met him, including my plans to crash his show at Fashion Week using my new dress designs.
“Hold on,” Brad interrupts. “You were gonna make me wear a dress? When were you gonna get around to telling me that?”
“At about the same time you got around to telling me the wedding was off,” I say sweetly. “Because there’s nothing quite like being humiliated in front of hundreds of people while wearing a couture gown handmade for the occasion. You did say you’d do anything to make it up to me.”
That shuts him up.
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? How do you feel about him? Are you in love with this man?”
Jenner’s question stops me cold. “It would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it? So soon after meeting him? So soon after my relationship with Brad ending? So soon . . . period?”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It would be romantic, not ridiculous,” says Danielle. “I knew as soon as I met Brian that he was the one. Took one look—boom. And your kids would be gorgeous.”
“Whoa! No one’s talking about having kids.”
Brad says, “She’s right. Your kids would be gorgeous.”
Jenner says under his breath, “Ugh. Breeders.”
“Can we move on from the kid talk and the love talk? What am I supposed to do?”
“Get your head straight and figure out how you feel. It’s not right to pursue him because you’re lonely, or because Satan bruised your ego.”
“Hey,” says Brad, hurt. “Did you nickname me Satan?”
“Yes, and it’s an insult to the lord of darkness,” scoffs Danielle.
“I think,” continues Jenner over the interruption, “you should do exactly as Matteo suggested and take some time. You’ve endured some of the most traumatic things that can happen to a person, all within the space of a month. You ended a significant relationship. Your father died. You moved to another country. Your business burned down—”
“Your business burned down?” shout Brad and Danielle in unison.
I fish the corkscrew from a drawer and open the wine.
“As I was saying,” thunders Jenner. “Even if it were possible for you to know without a doubt how you feel right now, it’s impossible to begin a relationship that has any chance of lasting during such a chaotic time in your life.”
He’s right. My life is chaotic.
And the only thing that has kept me grounded has been a man who blackmailed me for kisses and held me up during my father’s funeral and threatened to break Brad’s legs for hurting me and challenged, infuriated, and excited me at every turn.
I hear my father’s voice in my head speaking the last words he’d ever say to me, his final piece of wisdom before he left this earth.
