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“I’m gonna call you right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Without further explanation, Brad disconnects the call.

I figure Giancarlo showed up at his hotel room and I won’t be hearing from him again anytime soon, so I’m surprised when my phone rings about ten minutes later. When I pick up, Brad sounds like an efficient secretary.

“I’ve got Jenner and Danielle on the line. I conferenced them in.”

“You did what? What the—”

“Honey,” says Danielle, sounding frantic. “Brad said you’re in trouble—”

“Poppins?” interrupts Jenner. “What’s all this about? Are you okay?”

Brad jumps in, and then they’re all talking over each other. I sit listening in disbelief as Brad explains his version of our previous phone call and Jenner and Danielle pepper him with questions. Finally, after a few minutes, a pause ensues.

Jenner says, “I don’t understand why you’re calling us, though.”

Brad replies, “She’s my best friend. I want her to be happy.”

Another pause, this one longer. Into the silence, I say, “I think there’s a small piece of information the rest of the group is missing, Brad. Up to you if you want to share it or not.”

“You didn’t tell them?”

He’s shocked. I can hear it in his voice. “Not my place. Already told you that.”

“Not even Jenner?” he whispers, his voice wavering.

“Excuse me,” says Jenner impatiently, “but what the bloody hell is going on?”

Brad says, “Um. I, um . . .” He makes a small panicked noise, then begs, “You tell them.”

I don’t bother to argue. Nothing makes any sense anyway. Why should this? “So, do you guys remember where Brad and I were going to go on our honeymoon?”

Danielle says, “The dude ranch?”

Jenner says, “What about it?”

“Two things. The first is that it’s where Brad wanted to go. The second is that it’s a. Dude. Ranch.”

The silence only lasts for less than a few seconds before Jenner says flatly, “No.”

Sounding sheepish, Brad chimes in. “Yeah.”

More silence, then Danielle says, “What’s happening?”

Jenner’s the one who answers her. “If I’m not mistaken, what’s happening is that Brad just came out.”

“Came out? Of where?”

“For God’s sake, what has Ohio done to your brain?” says Jenner, exasperated.

“Excuse me for not being able to read minds,” says an equally exasperated Danielle. “And I’ll have you know, Ohio is a wonderful place!”

“I don’t know, I might be with Jenner on this one,” says Brad, sounding thoughtful. “I went to Cleveland once and almost got mugged outside a church at ten o’clock in the morning.”

Before the conversation goes from merely ridiculous to downright tragic, I take the reins. “Brad is gay, Danielle.”

She bursts into laughter that lasts so long Brad has to come to his own defense. “It’s true. I’m gay.